I Sadhu

Siddhananda: (showing a rock). We got a… uh oh! Hold on to your seats. Buckle up! Get out your popcorn. Here we are! (laughing) We never know!

G: We never know with the linga! The wild card.

Siddhananda: Mr. Linga, get ready! (closing eyes) Okay, so I’m seeing something within it.

G: Okay.

Siddhananda: Let’s see what it is. (pause) Okay, he’s saying, “I sadhu.”

G: I sadhu.

Siddhananda: Okay. Get ready! (laughing) Okay.

Spirit: I sadhu. I see. I see. I seer.

G: Okay.

Spirit: I Rishi sadhu. I Rishi sadhu.

G: Oh yes, we know about those Rishi sadhus, all right. So what does this Rishi sadhu have to say here?

Siddhananda: Oh no!

Spirit: I Rishi sadhu. I meditate. I Rishi sadhu.

G: Okay. (laughing) So, what can we help you with, Rishi sadhu?

Spirit: I make light. I make light. I Rishi sadhu.

Siddhananda: Okay.

G: He’s not going to ask for bakshish, is he? (laughing)

Siddhananda: (laughing) Oh no! Gosh, it’s feeling a little off kilter. But we’ll see.

G: Exactly, exactly.

Siddhananda: I know when you said that… oh no! They are coming in this way, that wouldn’t be good. He says, “What’s wrong asking bakshish? What’s wrong with that?”

G: Because you are not a beggar. Because that’s not part of the sadhu tradition. You should know that. Sadhu tradition is to sit there and do your mantras and to do your practice. And then people see and they give out of their heart. You don’t chase and ask for bakshish. So, I think with this one we’re going to send in Big Baba Light.

Siddhananda: Oh!

G: We need Big Baba Light to come in now.

Siddhananda: He’s right over there. (looking to the left)

G: Yeah, we need Big Baba Light.

Siddhananda: Let’s have him come, because, right away I think we need that.

G: Yeah, yeah. Because I know exactly what this type is.

Siddhananda: I’m already feeling where this is going. Exactly!

G: Yeah, I know when we started and he opened his mouth, I could tell exactly what it was. So, yeah. We need Big Baba Light to come.

Siddhananda: And I see that fire coming. That fire is no joke, that dhuni fire is coming. It’s ablaze.

G: Right. Tell this one we’re going to show you what real sadhu is.

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: I’m going to show you what real sadhu is, okay? (laughing)

Siddhananda: Boy, I see that fire. It’s Shiva fire is what I’m feeling. I’m just seeing the energy of it and it’s bright.

G: Right.

Siddhananda: And this sadhu, this Rishi sadhu [is saying] “Why are you bringing this here? What’s happening?”

G: To see what real sadhu is and that will explain it immediately to you, why you don’t ask for bakshish. (laughing)

Siddhananda: Yeah, exactly! And he is bowing; he’s down. Either that or he is covering his head. It could be that. That’s what it feels like he’s doing.

G: Yeah, exactly.

Siddhananda: He’s more protecting himself, like this. (covering her head)

G: Exactly. Do you want to know what the real deal is? Do you want to know why you don’t that? Because you are playing a game. Now, I’m going to give you the reality. Don’t come fuck with me. (laughing)

Siddhananda: (laughing) And that’s pretty much this fire, too, because he’s sheltering himself from it.

G: Exactly! Because he’s there playing. He’s playing. He wants to think he’s this big sadhu. Okay, I’m going to show you what sadhu is. These are the ones I would take the danda (staff) out and chase.

Siddhananda: Yeah, yeah, exactly.

G: I’ll show you my danda. Now, here comes the fire.

Siddhananda: Oh, that’s it, exactly.

G: Exactly.

Siddhananda: He’s like, “Why I wrong? I no wrong. I no wrong. I Rishi. I Rishi. I seer.”

G: Uh huh, sure you are.

Siddhananda: But, he’s hiding his head. He’s shuddering.

G: So, why are you shuddering then? If you’re not wrong then what are you fearing in this? You want to know what Shiva fire is? Now you know.

Siddhananda: He goes, “Because it hot. It burn me.”

G: Yeah.

Siddhananda: It’s getting closer to him, too. It’s coming closer to him.

G: It needs to burn you. That’s why you have the fire, the dhuni, to burn to ashes.

Spirit: Don’t let it burn me!

G: All of your drama needs to burn one hundred percent and be rarefied and clean like gold. So you don’t even know the first thing about the path. You are playing a game. No more games.

Siddhananda: You know it’s burning up that imagery of him, actually. Ooh! (making a face)

G: Yeah.

Siddhananda: It’s taking it away. It’s coming. Actually it’s burning that image completely away of him and his masquerading.

G: Exactly! Like I said, he’s the type I take the danda out and I chase.

Siddhananda: Oh yeah.

G: I take him to task because you are not a sadhu. You are a beggar!

Siddhananda: That’s the thing.

G: You are disgracing the sadhu clothes.

Siddhananda: That’s the thing.

G: If you are going to be a beggar, be a beggar. But, don’t sit here and play this game.  You can’t fool me.

Siddhananda: No.

G: You come here and say I’m Rishi. I’m Rishi. You’re not a Rishi. My foot! You don’t know the first thing and say you are a Rishi.

Siddhananda: Yeah, no.

G: A Rishi, a seer, is a realized being.

Siddhananda: Right, right.

G:  You are sitting here telling me you are a realized being and you don’t even know the first thing about the beginning of the path.

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: Oh, no, no, no, no. Uh uh. You are not playing that here. (laughing)

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: We’re going to clear this up immediately.

Siddhananda: Well, he’s burning up. I don’t really see his form like that anymore. So, let’s see what he’s got to say.

G: We’ll take the big danda in there and whack him upside the head. Now you can see what sadhu is.

Spirit: Big Baba Light! Big Baba Light is there!

Siddhananda: I do see a lotus coming [from] where his form was. So, let’s see what he has to say, if anything.

G: Yeah, he wants to be a Rishi, then he’s going to have to pay the price. You’ve got to burn up all the bullshit. You can’t have that bullshit and sit there and talk story and smoke all this bullshit and sit there and ask…

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: No, no, no. That’s not a Rishi. (shaking head)

Siddhananda: Okay, he’s saying, “Please help me. Please help me see.” (laughing) Obviously, if he needs help seeing, he was not a seer.

G: Right, right. So now you want to be a seer, you are claiming to be a seer, now you have the path to become a seer. But it takes burning out all the illusion and the drama.

Spirit: Yes, help me to see. I need to see. I’m blind. I need to see.

G: Right, well, now we’re getting better.

Siddhananda: Well, he’s burning up.

G: Now, we’re getting to honesty.

Siddhananda: Yeah, exactly.

G: Honesty is the first step.

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: So you want to be a real sadhu? This is the real initiation. (laughing)

Siddhananda: No doubt! Oh boy, is he getting it. He goes, “I was wrong. I need to see.”

G: Yeah.

Spirit: I was wrong.

G: So we’ll bring that in and we’ll also bring in the Kali.

Siddhananda: Oh boy! Okay.

G: He gets the double whack. He gets the big danda today. (laughing)

Siddhananda: Both of them are descending down again, the white and the black Kali. They come in like this (showing her fingers cascading downwards). They float down.

G: Yeah.

Siddhananda: It’s really cool. They are there as well as Big Baba Light. Oh boy, watch out, huh?

G: Yeah.

Siddhananda: They have their sword of knowledge there, kali. The one, the darker Kali, is bending down and cutting things away.

G: Yeah.

Siddhananda: Really, it’s no joke. It’s no joke!

G: It’s no joke. No. It’s no joke. You want to play that life and you want to think you have something? I’m going to show you the truth of it.

Siddhananda: It’s like I see weeds that Kali is cutting, like cutting those weeds.

G: Right. Yeah, all that drama out, all that nonsense. And a lot of these Babas do think they have it.

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: They have memorized all this stuff and they can talk a good story, but no.

Siddhananda: Well, right. When he says, “I make light,” that’s just not right.

G: No. He makes light? Yeah, I’m going to show you light.

Siddhananda: Yeah, he doesn’t make light. (laughing)

G: Don’t talk to me about that.

Siddhananda: Yeah, no, wrong person, wrong thing. Well, it could be the best day for him, but we’ll see.

G: It will be his best day.

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: But, it’s going to come at a toll. He’s going to find out what a genuine spiritual path is and this is what we go through in a genuine spiritual path.

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: You come to me and I’ve walked the path in honesty and sincerity. I’ve done all these things and you come to me with this bullshit?

Siddhananda: Right.

G: No, it’s not going to fly.

Siddhananda: Like you are going to cater to that? Please!

G: Oh no, no. They should know better than come to me like that.

Siddhananda: That’s what’s amazing. I think they just unknowingly come and maybe to get on the right path and the grace if they do turn around. You never know, sometimes they don’t, of course.

G: Yeah, they get the grace. But they should know.

Siddhananda: Really!

G: They should know of my time in Rishikesh. Like I said, they have the one sadhu, every time he would see me, he would run the other direction. “Kali! Kali!” (laughing) He would run the other direction.

Siddhananda: Right! Well, that’s the thing. They would run from you. (laughing)

G: No, I don’t mess around.

Siddhananda: Yeah, exactly.

G: This is sadhu life. This is being in that type of tradition, and especially as a woman you have to be doubly strong to be in that type of tradition.

Siddhananda: For sure.

G: If you’re going to come to me and say that you are a sadhu, then you best be a sadhu. You better not be sitting there, being a sadhu masquerading. And being like a fricking beggar.

Siddhananda: Yeah, no.

G: Because I will really take them to task and [it] really is something that is upsetting here that they do that and pass themselves off as a sadhu.

Siddhananda: Absolutely.

G: And playing a game with everybody.

Siddhananda: Absolutely.

G: Yeah.


Siddhananda: Oh boy, and they are getting the lesson here today.

G: Yeah, they will be working on him for a while. So, let’s put him on the middle shelf (in the healing center) and we will check in with him.

Siddhananda: Let him simmer there.

G: Yeah, they are going to be working with him for a while. Big Baba Light will have no problem. (laughing)

Siddhananda: It’s so nice to have good friends, isn’t it?

G: It’s nice to have friends in high places.

Siddhananda: It’s so nice to have good friends in high places. That’s right! Here, five. (raising her palm to the camera for a high five) That’s it.

G: Sadhu? Okay, we’ll call in Big Baba Light.

Siddhananda: Big Baba Light! Hey, no problem. We got him. We got this covered. Big Baba Light. Phew! (fingers like flying away) Watch out!

G: Bring your danda.

Siddhananda: That’s right.

G: Whack some sense into these sadhus.

Siddhananda: He was there waiting. Big Baba Light came like a fire, no problem. Immediately!

G: He’ll straighten them out very quickly. Because it’s the same thing. I’m sure he’s not going to put up with any of that nonsense.

Siddhananda: No, it’s just so pervasive there right now with that kind of energy. It’s just so dishonest.

G: And I don’t know if they even understand they are being dishonest with themselves.

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: They’ve got the stories, this and that, and they think that’s it.

Siddhananda: Right.

G: And then they say that they’ve got light and truth that they don’t have, so they come here, they are going to get the reality not the bullshit.

Siddhananda: Right, right. And that must be it, otherwise he wouldn’t have come here, because he really did feel like he has something to say and has something.

G: He really felt he had something.

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: Like he really had something. But the minute he opened his mouth, from the first word I had that feeling, immediately.

Siddhananda: That energy.

G: When he said, “But what’s wrong with bakshish?” I knew immediately he was one of those types.

Siddhananda: Oh yeah! And even when he said, “I make this light…” I’m like the man is what he’s trying to say.

G: I got the light. I’m here to… yeah, you are? Oh, okay, we’ll see. We’ll see. No problem.

Siddhananda: It’s good. It comes to bring this energy of purification out to that population, which is just so pervasive and so stuck… and then they’ve got the drugs and everything else. They don’t have any clarity at all.

G: No. They think they’ve got the clarity and they think that they’ve got the wisdom and things. They sit there and they have lived... we’ll give them this. They have kept the dhuni faithfully and they have done the outer things.

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: But they don’t have the inner truth of it.

Siddhananda: Right.

G: They are all stuck on the outer.

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: And that’s it.

Siddhananda: And it is a harsh life. Some of them do go through those austerities and things, and it’s harsh.

G: They have done a lot of austerities and that’s one reason that they are smoking that.

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: Because it is a very hard life…

Siddhananda: Understood.

G: …living out in the elements and doing that.

Siddhananda: Oh yeah.

G: It is very tough. It’s not a joke. It is a very, very tough life. But they don’t have what they think they have and so when they don’t have that that Big Baba Light… they come here and we’ll show you what the dhuni is really all about, what those fires of purification are.

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: And so we’ll let them experience the real deal.

Siddhananda: For sure. No, it’s awesome.

G: They paid some dues, so let’s let them get that chance.

Siddhananda: Yeah, yeah. No. And just that he came here. Okay, you came here, so we’re going to follow with this.

G: Exactly.

Siddhananda: It’s good. It’s good that this is coming out. I knew when I even picked up that one, it was looking at me. (laughing) Buckle your seatbelt. So, anyway, okay!

G: Another wild card linga.

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: You never know what you are going to get when you have the linga there.

Siddhananda: No.

G: It’s usually some sort of a ride “Ooh!” (waving her hands up)

Siddhananda:  It is.

G: No one knows.

Siddhananda: It’s a ride it takes you on. So, we’ll let them simmer over there. They are on simmer. Maybe not simmer, maybe they are on hot. I don’t think they are on simmer. They are on hot.

G: They are on hot.

Siddhananda: They are on high. (laughing)

G: They are going to become that dhuni.

Siddhananda: Riiuup! (making a noise like turning the sound up)

G: Exactly! That’s what it is. They are supposed to be burning that up. They are supposed to become that dhuni.

Siddhananda: Right.

G: They are that light.

Siddhananda: They are the sacrifice, that ego. Yeah.

G: Exactly. Now he’s going to find what that fire actually is.

Siddhananda: And that’s exactly what was happening is that image of him was being consumed in that fire.

G: Exactly! And then you become that sacred ash.

Siddhananda: Yeah, yeah.

G: You become that sacred ash.

Siddhananda: That’s exactly what was happening with that one. Big Baba Light came in. It came closer, then the flames were licking him.

G: Exactly. 

Siddhananda: And then it just consumed him.

G: Exactly.

Siddhananda: It did show that lotus at the end, but he’s not there yet. But just that’s where it’s going, to that purity.

G: Exactly. Those are the ashes you wear. You wear those ashes.

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: You burn that up and that’s the ash that you wear.

Siddhananda: Sure.

G: They cover your body with that ash.

Siddhananda: Right. Yeah.

G: That’s exactly what that’s representing. They don’t get it. The ashes of Shiva, you cover your body in ash.

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: And that’s exactly what that is to burn that form, to burn that.

Siddhananda: And they wear that, yeah.

G: You want the full sadhu experience? Here you have it.

Siddhananda: Ooh boy, there it is. It is on high, so we’ll let them boil for a while, not simmer. (laughing).

G: Thank you Big Baba Light! (laughing)

Siddhananda: Big Baba Light, thank you! Our friend. (laughing) Good friend. He’s a good one to have for a friend. We’ve got like I say a lot of good friends these days.

G: Yeah, when Sundir Puri comes back in some drug induced state, we’ll send Big Baba Light over and he will continue to work with him.

Siddhananda: When you said that, I still saw him and his eyes were all still blood shotty. He heard you, “Whirr!” (making a sound like spinning around). And then back again.

G: Yeah, when I call his name, he hears me.

Siddhananda: Yeah, he hears you.

G: It’s going to be a little while before…

Siddhananda: Yeah. Man, he was toxic that one. He had some haze of smoke.

G: Well, that’s how he died, in the midst of that.

Siddhananda: Yeah. I know.

G: In the midst of that. That day he was taking full on charas. It wasn’t cut with anything, so, yeah, and that’s what killed him. So it will take a while before that toxicity is out of there enough [so that] he can be worked with really.

Siddhananda: Right, and again another lesson that these things do carry on, drugs and all these things, it carries forward. If you got a chance now to get off that stuff, do it.

G: Right.

Siddhananda: That’s all.

G: Right.

True Rishi

Siddhananda: Okay, our first one that we're going to check in [with] has been on the second shelf.

G: hmm hmm. 

Siddhananda: And i believe this was the Sadhu that was helping, or the one that came in the linga, i don't know. we'll find out.

G: Okay. 

Siddhananda: (pause). Okay, i'm hearing "clearing, clearing".

G: Okay. 

Siddhananda: "Getting help, thank you for the help."

G: Okay.

Siddhananda: Wasn't that the one that Baba Light was helping too?

G: i think this is the one, but, maybe we'll have to ask. (Addressing the spirit) was Baba Light helping you? the one that came with the fire?

Siddhananda: (pause) Okay, i'm seeing that fire. So, that's a way to confirm that.

G: Yeah. That was the one that came in, the one that knew everything.

Siddhananda: That's it. And that's exactly what i'm feeling.

G: (laughing).

Siddhananda: (laughing). i don't know what they know now. But, we'll find out.

G: We'll find out what they know now, compared to what they thought they knew when they came in, that they were going to let me know how intelligent and how all-knowing they were. (laughing).

Siddhananda: That's what that was. (smiling).

G: So, we'll check in now. 

Siddhananda: (pause) So, [i'm hearing] "clearing, clearing".

G: hmm hmm.

Siddhananda: "hard clearing", they're saying.

G: hmm hmm.

Siddhananda: So, let's see what else they have to say today. (chuckling).

G: Yeah, how is your knowledge compared to what it was?

Siddhananda: (pause). "i go through hard things now, this is hard!". Oh, they were the rishi, rishi-sadhu, great seer.

G: Yeah, that's exactly [right]. They were the great seer, rishi, sadhu.

Siddhananda: That's right. [They were saying] "i make light".

G: ..and i make light. This is the rishi sadhu that came in and was going to let me know how much he knows. Typical Rishikesh [sadhu].

Siddhananda: That's what this one was. Oh, and the baksheesh, you were mentioning.

G: Yeah. 

Siddhananda: "No more baksheesh", they're saying. (laughing).

G: (laughing).

Siddhananda: "No more putting my hand out for baksheesh. Not good."

G: Right, that's not good. 

Siddhananda: Let's see if there's anything else.

G: So, what have you learned about the dhuni and the ashes?

Siddhananda: What i'm hearing is that, this is just their feeling, that this is the beginning of their Path versus..

G: ..versus when they thought they were at the end. Whereas now they have just really begun to do their journey. So, now that Big Baba light can help to open kundalini so that they can actually become the dhuni and they can do the path they should have been doing. Yes, absolutely.

Siddhananda: Yeah, they're saying this cuts away that darkness, that feeling that you know or you have some knowledge of anything, really. And that this is just hard, this is a hard cutting, burning, like the dhuni. i do see that dhuni and they are bowing to it. It's big, it's bright, like the Baba Light, and they're bowing to it like an honoring of it.

G: Right. And this dhuni that's burning is representative of what needs to take place inside of you. You must become that dhuni, and those ashes that you cover yourself with are what the ego burns down to. So, then you become Shiva. You become That which you are honoring now. You must become That.

Siddhananda: (pause). They're getting quieter with your pointings. So, i'm not sure where you want this one to..

G: i think we're going to just keep him. He's going to be doing his path for a while. We can go ahead and leave him up there and check in a while. He's going to be doing this for awhile.

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: Let's ask if he knows if he'll be coming back into form anytime soon.

Siddhananda: (pause). He says he doesn't know.

G: Yeah, he may, he may not. It's not necessary that they come back. [It's] quicker, if you can, but, it's also much more intense, much more difficult. 

Siddhananda: hmm hmm.

G: So, at that, Namaste, thank you for coming.

Siddhananda: (gesturing namaste).

G: We just wish you to continue well on your journey. So, we'll put you over there so that you can continue to do your practices. 

Siddhananda: (placing them on the shelf).

G: Yeah, i just want to see these ones actually making some progress. They think that they have gathered all these knowledge about something, it's the same thing as you read lot of books and you think you have knowledge, but you really don't have anything until you begin to find it within. 

Siddhananda: Sure.

G: And that's what they have to find. It's not external thing of i can do this ceremony and that ceremony. They'll have to find out that the ceremony is themselves. So, we want to see them actually begin the journey. 

Siddhananda: hmm hmm. It sounds like that's happened for that one.

G: Yeah, he's starting the journey now. He's got some good background foundation, but, if he can understand now that that is what you become, that's not external to you but it is what you are internally at the end point.

Siddhananda: hmm hmm. Totally different focal point.

G: Totally different focal point from where he was at, yes. But, like i said, this is what you find in Rishikesh. This is why i had such a difficult time while i was there. You find lot of the babas that think they know something, and, they're very patriarchal. They don't want to hear anything from a woman. They think they know it all. But, most of them haven't even really begun their journey in earnest. 

Siddhananda: Sure. That's an issue, especially when they're doing things that are dishonoring of the robes they're wearing.

G: Well, exactly! This is why i would be so angry and i'd take the danda (stick) and i'd chase them! i'd literally chase them! Because the people that come to India are thinking these are all holy men. 

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: And they're really abusing it. They're not doing the practices like they should be and they're playing a game with themselves and with the tourists, and taking the tourists for a ride because they don't know. 

Siddhananda: Sure.

G: They don't know really what it takes to do the internal path. They're just see these externals, what these guys are wearing. They tell a good story, they live outside. Yes, it's a tough life. But, you have to really do the journey. 

Siddhananda: hmm hmm.

G: Like i said, while i was there, i did see a few that were really honest-to-goodness sadhus. And when i saw them i did honor them by leaving some money for them. You do leave some baksheesh, but, it's not when they're coming over and saying "baksheesh, baksheesh." You tell them you're a beggar, you're not a sadhu, get away from me.

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: Go become a beggar and take off the sadhu clothes, don't disgrace them. Either that or do the practices like they're supposed to be done.

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: Because while i was there, i would do practices. i'd sit by the banks of the Ganges, in Haridwar, and people would see me that i was genuinely in practices and they would leave little offerings of some little fruit or couple of rupees here and there. But, they could see that you are really doing the journey and they would honor that.

Siddhananda: Makes sense.

G: Yeah, absolutely.

Siddhananda: That's good that that's coming forward out of this and it's turning around there.

G: Yeah, i want to see it again become another place of the rishis, those that are the knowers. But, right now, it's not that and it needs to turn around. 

Siddhananda: Yeah, true rishis.

G: True rishis. True knowers. That they have a good foundation. This is not to say that they're not doing it sincerely. I'm sure a lot of them think they are doing it sincerely. And they think they do have something. But, they don't know the difference. That's the problem. 

Siddhananda: Yeah. i think that is, in a lot of ways, especially when it's the general climate of things, all have that mindset.

G: They're caught up in the externals and think the externals are it. And they put so much attention on the externals, knowing the stories, doing the 'bam bam bole nath..'.. But, they've got to find the internal of that and surrender to that.