Moving beyond struggle

G: (Looking down, holding rock) Ok.  (Hands rock to Siddhananda)

Siddhananda: (Holding rock, eyes closed, after a few moments right hand goes up near heart and fingertips close to a point, palm up). I’m feeling some emotions that (incomprehensible word) are there. I now hear [some] thing.. this is silly, some song [just] came in.. (singing) “feelings... nothing more than feelings” and then there was a feeling of fear, but then there’s also [that] wanting to have that flame there to burn away the dross.

G: Ok, so which path have they walked?

Siddhananda: (Closes eyes for several moments) [i'm] getting "lifetimes of suffering, lifetimes of struggle," (pulling, rubbing with fingertips near heart area), "living in this secret place, mystic."

G: Yeah (nodding) I’m going to ask for Christ to come in to this one, yeah. I’m feeling more of that inner struggle, so I think that Christ needs to come in and tell them [there's] nothing to fear and that one needs to connect with that heart center and just be willing to go forward.

Siddhananda: (Namaste hands) I see these images, there was a bit of a blip and again it's hazy, this imagery, it's very different now, wow!

G: Uh-huh

Siddhananda: And now it’s a little bit clearer, and Christ is there with the open arms, there’s the robe, a cross (hand gesturing horizontally), arms open, and the robe draping down. He’s a handsome man! (Guruji laughs). [The images are] not as clear, yet it's there. I can feel that there and it's just resonating. It's vibrating outward more (changes gesture to hands moving outwards, palms facing inwards, pulsating).

G: So we’re just going to let Christ work with this person. We’ll put them in the crystal cave for a while and go ahead and let them work on that heart opening. There’s always that forgiveness and everything, I think it's more of a thing of forgiving themselves if they’ve been in this pain. I think they tried to walk a spiritual path but they’ve been so hard on themselves that they’re carrying this...

Siddhananda: Struggle

G: Yeah, struggle. They need to find out they don’t need to struggle. He’s done the struggle and they  just need to accept and relax into that and continue to go forward.

Siddhananda: Yeah, now would it be ok for this one to go in the crystal cave.

G: Sure, they can just sit there for now.

Carrying the Cross

Siddhananda: (Showing a small round pink stone) (long pause with closed eyes) i see someone with a cross on their back.

G: Aha. (pause) So, why are they dragging that cross?

Siddhananda: In the heat and uphill and all that.

G: Right, right. They're putting themselves through that. (pause) So, why are they doing that, austerities?

Siddhananda: (long pause with closed eyes) Just hardship, hardship.

G: Aha.

Siddhananda: "Hardship is the way, right?" they are saying.

G: Well, there is a hard [way], but, if he is taking it on himself, and it's not the natural thing that's coming, then, he's just burning in, giving a burden to himself that he doesn't need to carry. Christ already carried that cross.

Siddhananda: (long pause) Okay, he did set it down.

G: Yeah.

Siddhananda: (pause) Okay, he's walking. He does look like maybe he's also from that time. [He's] got the (moving hands around the torso indicate some type of clothing from that time).

G: Yeah, from that time.

Siddhananda: Yeah, and he's got that outfit on with the little rope belt and the robe and sandals and things.

G: Right, he was probably a monk of Franciscan friar or something.

Siddhananda: That's sounds right, yeah.

G: And, he's been doing all these austerities for all this time.

Siddhananda: That sounds right about him.

G: Yeah, very old Franciscan.

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: Franciscan monk.

Siddhananda: Right. So, that's a heavy tradition in that way.

G: Yeah.

Siddhananda: In what they were doing.

G: Yeah, some of them did a lot of self flagellation and stuff in order to become like Christ, but, that's not the way you have to become like Christ.

Siddhananda: Yeah, and as you are speaking, i do see that imagery of Christ with the thorns and blood.

G: Right.

Siddhananda: Like that was the way, hurt yourself.

G: They're more into suffering.

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: Suffering. Why are you not into the risen Christ? Do you not want to know the risen Christ?

Siddhananda: (pasue) "I just know suffering," he's saying.

G: Yeah.

Spirit: I know just to bear suffering.

G: Right right.

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: So, we're going to send in Christ to him to give him the message of letting go of that, that there's the risen Christ, you don't stay stuck in the suffering Christ. (smiling)

Siddhananda: (pause) Okay. So, Christ is appearing, almost like in a teaching manner with his hand out like he's giving some teaching there.

G: Yeah, we have to surrender into Christ. And we do walk, in a sense, that path of Christ, but, when you're taking unnecessary burden, that's not beneficial.

Siddhananda: Right, they come in the way, the course of it.

G: It will come of it's own course.

Siddhananda: Yeah, exactly.

G: But, you don't push it to become that suffering persona.

Siddhananda: Oh, absolutely.

G: Yeah.

Siddhananda: Gosh, it's enough without [any pushing]. (light laughter)

G: [It's] something different.

Siddhananda: Yeah. (pause) So, Christ is there, like i say, in a teaching pose. (pause) That other one has a darker energy, it's a darker feeling. I can see some blood in it.

G: Yeah.

Siddhananda: It's moving.

G: He's been so stuck in the suffering and stuff. He's so stuck in that suffering ideation.

Siddhananda: It's got such a feeling to it that is just not healthy.

G: Right, it isn't a healthy thing.

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: They really get stuck in that and they don't go on to push through that to the risen [Christ].

Siddhananda: That's what's so unfortunate.

G: Freedom.

Siddhananda: Right, and that's what's so unfortunate. And i think in their hearts they love Christ dearly.

G: Right.

Siddhananda: But, they just take that, just that part of it on.

G: Right, i want to be like Christ.

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: If you really want to be like Christ, then you have to accept the rising. You have to accept the regeneration, not stay stuck in the suffering. For what reason?

Siddhananda: Yeah, really just to hurt themselves on and on for all eternity.

G: Right.

Siddhananda: And as you're speaking, i do see Christ there. I do see light around that darkness with the blood. It's trying to get in there (long pause) And Christ is almost rising up with that light and is coming down in there and it's definitely penetrating in there. Thank goodness, for this energy.

G: Yeah, he (the spirit) needs to clean that out.

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: And he needs to let go of that and go forward.

Siddhananda: I do again see that image of Christ with thorns, but, it's changing, it's starting to get more distant and more hazy.

G: Right.

Siddhananda: The best way to say, that's how you could say that, is it's dissolving.

G: It's going through transmutation.

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: You'll go through a transmutation to the risen Christ.

Siddhananda: That's it, so, that's happening and i think he's very blessed to have that there and it was not by his own, i don't what to say choice, i mean he's open, but, it just had to come to him that way.

G: Right.

Siddhananda: Or otherwise i don't think he would have.

G: It didn't click with him.

Siddhananda: It didn't click.

G: He got stuck in that and they got stuck in that sense of i have to surrender and suffer. Christ suffered, so i'm going to take on. It's almost like they're trying to take on Christ’s suffering so that Christ doesn't suffer, but, it doesn't work that way.

Siddhananda: Yeah, how could it.

G: It doesn't work that way.

Siddhananda: It just doesn't make sense.

G: I want to emulate Christ, therefore i have to suffer. Well, no. Christ said forgive them for they know not what they do, and he went onward to be the risen. He didn't stay in that suffering.

Siddhananda: He suffered so humanity wouldn't have to suffer like that.

G: Exactly.

Siddhananda: So, they could have a path and get out of that.

G: Exactly.

Siddhananda: So, that's there and it's going to be a bit long, because this is a heavy, long standing.

G: Right, he's in this for a very very long time. This guy was probably from early Fransican's.

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: Very early.

Siddhananda: Right.

G: When they first started that order.

Siddhananda: Right, and which is just an intense, an austere living.

G: Right, Very hard.

Siddhananda: But, you're meant to go beyond the austerities.

G: Right.

Siddhananda: The austerities come on their own.

G: They come on their own. It's not something you force that you are going to punish yourself.

Siddhananda: Right.

G: That's almost like you're punishing yourself.

Siddhananda: Right. It's a different thing.

G: No. Christ never wanted somebody to sit there and take a whip and flagellate (gesturing whipping)

Siddhananda: Yeah, no.

G: And beat themselves with it or take this on like this.

Siddhananda: Did he ever do that.

G: That was never what his message was.

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: It was never that message. He never gave that message ever.

Siddhananda: And, he never did it himself, so, you look at his path.

G: Exactly.

Siddhananda: He never did that to himself.

G: Exactly.

Siddhananda: It's not what you do.

G: He was not punishing himself.

Siddhananda: No.

G: He walked the path he had to walk, just like we walk the path we have to walk and that stuff comes on its own.

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: But, we're not sitting there saying "jee, let me make myself suffer" (gesturing whipping) (laughing)

Siddhananda: No. You got to look at how you perpetuate suffering. That's a different thing than taking on this whole trying to hurt yourself.

G: Right. Exactly.

Siddhananda: i'm glad that came out because that's a good. Really good pointings there. (moving the stone over to the healing center).

G: So, we'll leave him at the healing center for a while.

Siddhananda: Okay.

G: Yeah.

Siddhananda: So, we'll put him over there. We have few over there, which is good.

G: Yeah, we got a few in the healing center that are being worked with.

Siddhananda: Yeah, and they're in good hands and shape and form.

Resurrection

Siddhananda: Okay, what's next in store here (showing a crystal clear stone)? (pausing with closed eyes).

Spirit: Take away my suffering.

G: Aha (nodding).

Siddhananda: I am seeing an image of a cross, someone carrying that cross up a hill. They've worked hard.

G: So, a tough, tough one.

Siddhananda: Yeah, they're really struggling with that. What should we explore a little more here?

G: In what time were they incarnated?

Siddhananda: Gosh, I hear, "time of Christ," and something [about] Palestine.

G: Yeah, they could have [incarnated at that time].

Siddhananda: Again, that era [was] a very hard time.

G: Very hard, yeah. He could have been a follower of Christ that had gone through an actual crucifixion at that time.

Siddhananda: Yeah, it could have been. Again, I'm hearing, "time of Christ."

G: Did you go through  a crucifixion as well? 

Siddhananda:  I think they watched them.

G: They watched it, but they didn't have to [go through crucifixion]?

Siddhananda: It felt like they watched them, and I don't know if it was Christ [they saw], but they've seen a lot of those.

G: Okay.

Siddhananda:  I'm hearing, "No," not themselves, but they observed that quite a bit.

G: They're fortunate. There were a lot people that were crucified. There were a number of followers of Christ that were crucified as well.

Siddhananda: Exactly, yeah. It wasn't just Christ.

G: No, it wasn't just Christ. There were many that went through crucifixion as well.

Siddhananda:  I'm thinking of someone upside down.

G: Right, Peter.

Siddhananda: Okay (nodding). I see an image of them upside down.

G: Yeah, one of the apostles said, "I am below Christ, therefore do not crucify me like the Christ. I'm not worthy," and he asked to be crucified hanging upside down.

Siddhananda: So, this was a hard witnessing.

G: So, he saw that one? He saw that one crucified? 

Siddhananda: He's saying, "Yes."

G: Yeah, yeah (nodding).

Siddhananda: That one (nodding sadly).

G: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was one of the apostles. It was either Peter or Paul. I don't remember which one it was, Peter or Paul, but one of them had said that ... "I am unworthy to be crucified like my Lord, therefore crucify me upside down, because I'm unworthy." Yeah.

Siddhananda: (inhaling deeply) I can see wounds on him, almost like he's carrying those wounds on himself, even in his hands and his heart.

G: Right, he's taken that wound. Right, and this has happened. This is why some of them develop the wounds of Christ. There have been those that have developed this. It's called stigmata. They will actually bleed from the wounds because there is such a [strong] identification with the suffering, and taking on the suffering.

Siddhananda: There you go. Interesting.

G: But there is no need to take on the suffering of others.

Siddhananda: I am seeing him bleeding in his hands and in his heart, and his eyes, even (drawing her fingers downward from under her eyes to indicate blood dripping down).

G: People do take on that stigmata. They take on that true suffering, but there's no need to take on that suffering. It does nothing to aid Christ. It does nothing to aid you. It does nothing to aid humanity. So, you are suffering needlessly. So, I ask now (closing her eyes), again, that Christ come to this individual and show him the reality of that. [Show him] that he should only focus on, not the suffering, but the risen aspect (opening her eyes). Everyone has to face their own crucifixion of sorts, but then don't stay in that crucifixion.

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: You need to move on to the resurrection, and that's the message.

Siddhananda: You're leaving that part out, you know?

G: Exactly! You need to go forward to the resurrection, and that's the beauty of it.

Siddhananda: The flower of it.

G: The flower of it, yeah.

Siddhananda:  ...  perfect, fresh flower.

G:  It's to show that no matter what it is, it's eternal. Life is eternal. There is no death. It is eternal.

Siddhananda: Like you said, what purpose [does focusing on suffering serve]? How is this benefiting them or anyone?

G: It's not benefiting any. No, it's not benefiting any.

Siddhananda: Boy, I saw a BIG image of Christ with the thorns and the blood.

G: Yeah

Siddhananda: Christ [is] coming in now.

G: Yeah, right (nodding). To dispel that, to show him the resurrection.

Siddhananda: Right, that was there (the image of Christ with the thorns).

G: He needs to see the resurrection.

Siddhananda:  Then, Christ is there, coming forward from that, and it's like that [image of suffering] is a shadowy thing.

G: Right.

Siddhananda: Then, Christ is coming in with his arms [open], and then the light [is emanating], and that image of the tears, the blood and the thorns is fading.

G: It's fading, and what will come forward is the reality, not his skewed interpretation of it and his holding.

Siddhananda: That's it. What I can feel from that is just the love and compassion that was there within Christ. Nothing like even what you are seeing with that. I mean, there was suffering, but there's SUCH love and compassion beyond belief.

G:  (murmuring yeah softly as Siddhananda speaks)

Siddhananda: And that has risen into this, this rebirth of this soul ... just so pure and untouched by any of that.

G: Right, right. He's totally untouched and that's His message. You're not touched by any of this. He went to the Father, [and said], "I've gone to the Father that sent me and these things you will do and even greater, for I go to the father that sent me."

Siddhananda: See, and that's the message of not getting stuck in the other. That's not it.

G: Exactly. He was not the only one that came. He came to show the way. [He said], "I came to show the way." [It's] not what people have taken [it to be] ... "I am the only way." That's not what he was saying.

Siddhananda:  He showed the way for your own soul, too.

G:  I came to show the way (placing strong emphasis on each word).

Siddhananda:  That's the reality of it.

G: [He said], "Therefore follow me, do what I do, do the things that I do, for I have come to show you." If he were the only way, he wouldn't say, "do the things I do." He wouldn't say that, but he said, "Come follow me, do the things that I do, learn from me." Basically, that's what he was saying, "learn from me."

Siddhananda: Right. Why would he say it's in you? You ... you [have to] move out of this [suffering].

G: Right.

Siddhananda: It's what it is. It's what the whole thing is about.

G: Right.

Siddhananda: So, I hear this soul saying, or at least the feeling is, [that] there is no death.

G: Right. There is no death.

Siddhananda: Again, only your body may be touched, but your spirit, no.

G: Right, your spirit is never touched (smiling softly).

Siddhananda:  It's a really a beautiful image of that intermingling of that with the thorns and just the full face and figure, but Christ [is] there with those [outstretched] arms (gesturing to indicate how one image is overlaid by the other).

G: Right.

Siddhananda: That's the heart of it. That's the beam of light from the Heart. (inhaling deeply) So, that's really powerful. Woo! And the cross, I still see that a little bit.

G: Yeah, it's time to let go of the cross. It's time to move into that fullness now. You've carried the image of that cross for so long. It's time to release it and just go into the arms of Christ and the celebration now. It's time for the celebration.

Siddhananda: (pausing with eyes closed) It's definitely getting quieter and less images, and just more of a feeling of that peace.

G: Mm hmm (nodding). Right.

Siddhananda: There's more of just a light shining versus those images.

G: Right, yeah.

Siddhananda: It's better.  It's still a little there, but it's fading.

G: Yeah, he just has to accept the heart of Christ and let it be within him, that same light.

Siddhananda: Yeah, it's really turned into more of just an energy of spirit versus any of that [suffering]. It is just that untouched spirit.

G: Right, yeah.

Siddhananda: So, very nice.

G: So, thank you for coming (gesturing Namaste).

Siddhananda: (gesturing Namaste) Always a good lesson, that one, with the ones that are holding on to that kind of thing.

G: Exactly.

Siddhananda: Torturing themselves.

G: Exactly. You torture yourself. Yeah, it's so strong, it's so imprinted on you, that you will actually develop the wounds and bleed. Yeah (nodding).

Siddhananda:  Yeah, that energy did.

G: Oh, yeah.

Siddhananda: Very realistically.

G: Many have. Padre Pio also had that.

Siddhananda: That's amazing.

G: Padre Pio had that stigmata. They've identified so much with the suffering Christ rather than the risen Christ, that they develop actual stigmata.

Siddhananda: Mm hmm (nodding). You see that with people with all their imagery of the cross and the suffering. Not to say that imagery is bad, but that's where they're connecting their energies.

G: Right.

Siddhananda: Look at [it]. You're leaving out the other [part about risen Christ].

G: Right, right. So, I'm sure people will see that I'm wearing a cross with the Christ on it. Not to say that you have to remain in suffering, but one has to understand everyone goes through and bears their own cross at some point in time, to some degree. You have to be willing to lay yourself down on that cross.

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: You have to be willing to sacrifice yourself into God, but there's no loss. There's no loss in the end.

Siddhananda: So, if anything, that cross can be like a message of that, [to] lay it down.

G: Exactly, and that's what it is. You go through your own type of a crucifixion, but then there's the risen after that.

Siddhananda: Right

G:  Then one rises at that point. But, you can't just go in and say I'm not going to [do that]. I don't want to go through that.

Siddhananda: No, it's part of it.

G: Exactly, it's part of it. Everyone has to face their own journey, and it's like I said, when Christ came he had all the temptations and went through. He showed us the path that one walks. He was a great light as a teacher to show the path that one walks, and the journey that one has to take. So, that’s all it's saying. This (showing the cross around her neck) is saying be willing to take the journey, and know that in the end, there is the resurrection and the rebirth.

Siddhananda: Oh, exactly. There is certainly a message there, but it’s not to stay stuck there but to move forward from that.

G: Exactly. Don't stay stuck in the suffering.

Siddhananda: Yeah! You do it to yourself.

G: (laughing) So, maybe that’s why we have some [such souls coming], because I am wearing a cross.

Siddhananda: It could be.

G: So, maybe that’s drawing a few?

Siddhananda: It ends up being a good thing.

G: So, it's okay. It's a good thing (laughing).

Siddhananda: It's been a really good message, a very important message.