I Am Goddess

Siddhananda: Just right away, I'm getting feminine ... feminine Shakti … that element, ...  but phenomena, you know? A lot of it. It kind of feels to me like when we talked about the center of the yantra. You have that center, and then you have the emanation. She's in that emanations of it. She's almost ... God, I don't want to say enamored, but that's where she is, and believing that she's more of a goddess in that emanation. My feeling is that it's not serving her well.

G: Right.

Siddhananda: She’s attached there, thinking it's going to help others, but it's not. It's a separate feeling, not in that source light.

G: Right.

Siddhananda: So, I am asking her, "What can we help you with?"

Spirit: Freedom.

Siddhananda: I'm feeling a little resistance in there. We'll see what happens. Now she seems a little more balanced.

Spirit: Freedom.

Siddhananda: I think what it was is [she's] afraid, [because] she doesn’t want to leave that manifestation world, or whatever.

Spirit: Freedom and understanding.

Siddhananda: I think she wants to be a teacher, but I don’t know if she's willing to go further.

G: Right.

Siddhananda: That's what I am feeling.

G: There is a lot of them like that. They want to be a teacher, but they don’t want to go the whole way.

Siddhananda: My feeling is that she might want something here for herself to give, but she's not gonna really be there. It's just a feeling. I mean, I don’t think it's bad. I'm just going to try to reflect that.

G: I want more knowledge, but I don’t want to go [further]. Right ... I want to give something that I can give, but stay in the world of Shatki, in the world of duality, and not go beyond that.

Siddhananda: Right, and I'm just going to reflect that back to her, and [ask], "Is this it? Is this what you're saying?"

Spirit: Goddess. I'm a goddess. Yes, I am goddess!

Siddhananda: [It's] kind of like ... Bam! ... you know? I don’t know what to do here.

G: Right, yeah. You know, tell her we're going to let her go on her way.

Siddhananda: She’s already left.

G: There's more than just goddess.

Siddhananda: She's leaving quick.

G: There's more than just goddess. You can’t just stay stuck in the feminine. You have to have that balance, and come to that. She doesn’t want that yet.

Siddhananda: She’s angry. She's really angry. She's leaving angry.

G: Yes, she’s angry. She can be angry all she wants, but that’s the truth of it. You can’t negate one half of it. What she wants to do is to negate one half of it.

Siddhananda: Absolutely!

G: I am sorry, but you can’t do that. You can try. She can stay there for however long, but she's not  benefiting herself or others to remain in that. There has to be a balance, but she doesn't want that balance.

Siddhananda: Right, and you can’t be a teacher like that.

G: No. She’s coming to that point, that egotistical thing, when they get into that, "I'm Goddess. I am this ... (lifting her eyes heavenward and gesturing to indicate the savior). No, no, no… She wants to be worshipped.

Siddhananda: That’s it.

G: No, I'm sorry, I'm not going to help you with that (laughing).

Siddhananda: Nope. We're moving right along here!

G: Sorry, wrong place!

Siddhananda: Sounds like she fled. I don’t know if she'll come around or not. We'll deal with it as it comes.

G: Yep!