Carrying a burden

Siddhananda: (showing a small light brownish stone) There we go. (pause) Okay. So, i see this little rock exactly like it is, but, now with a little dark.. (long pause) Okay, they have a lot of dross in them.

G: Aha.

Siddhananda: (pause) [i] can feel that, just a lot of dirt, just a lot of crud.

G: Yeah. So, why are they carrying that?

Siddhananda: (pause) Almost like a big bag of it, stuffed with dross and dirt. Lets see (pause)

Spirit: I'm dirty.

G: Yeah, why did they say they're dirty? Why are they trying to carry that?

Siddhananda: (pause) [They're] saying people should shield their eyes to them. They're just so dirty and should be shunned. They should be locked up and imprisoned and all that.

G: Yeah. Why is that? Why do you think that way?

Siddhananda: (long pause) I heard something, but, i need to get clear that he did something awful, maybe even killed somebody.

G: Aha.

Siddhananda: He was involved with something like that. (pause) He was there, he was present. I don't know if he did it, maybe, one of those kind of things.

G: Yeah.

Siddhananda: I do see a gun. (long pause) I'm just feeling some involvement, but, i don't know if he..

G: If he did it himself.

Siddhananda: Yeah, and i don't feel like he was the one, almost like he's trying to stop it, that kind of thing.

G: He got caught up in something.

Siddhananda: Yeah, he was caught up.

G: And he's taking all the guilt on himself. Ask him what would have happened if he actually tried to intervene?

Siddhananda: With that situation?

G: Yeah.

Spirit: My family would have been hurt.

G: Right.

Spirit: My family would have been slaughtered.

G: Right.

Siddhananda: It was one of those things.

G: Yeah. You did not do the actual killing, so, why are you taking this on?

Siddhananda: Yeah, let me make sure he didn't. (pause) He did not do the actual killing.

G: Right. So, why is he taking that on? (pause) He can't control other people's actions.

Siddhananda: He did some bad [thing] or something, so, he could get out of something, but, then he got into something, or, Something turned around. He was involved in something not so good, but, out of trying to help something else. So, it was one of those "Damned if you do, damned if you don't" things.

G: Right. Catch twenty two position.

Siddhananda: Yeah, exactly. (pause) So, through him, through whatever happened, there were people hurt and killed. So, he's feeling it was his responsibility.

G: Does he know he can get forgiveness through Christ? (pause) He doesn't have to carry that heavy weight of the bag? (long pause) That God judges the hearts and the minds.

Siddhananda: (pause) Okay, some of it is a little quieter. I keep hearing, "i should be shunned". I do see that bag of dirt there.

G: Yeah, it's time to let go of the dirt. He doesn't need to carry it. Like i said, God is the judge of the hearts and the minds, not, as much of the action, (pause) but, of the intent and things behind it. 

Siddhananda: Yeah. (pause) He's crying.

Spirit: I didn't mean to, i didn't mean to.

G: Exactly, exactly.

Siddhananda: He's just pouring out tears.

G: He's punished himself. It's not God that's punishing him. He's punishing himself.

Siddhananda: Yeah. He goes, "I'm so sorry for who got hurt, I didn't mean to".

G: Right. So, i think Christ needs to come in and he needs to have that forgiveness.

Siddhananda: And again, that's like the sun coming in, really.

G: Aha.

Siddhananda: And, it is penetrating these rays. This time he is more angelic and ethereal and these rays are just penetrating all the way out.

G: Beautiful.

Siddhananda: Ooh, really [nice] imagery, i wish i could snap shot it. He's just like the sun, in this darkness.

G: Yeah.

Siddhananda: Really could bring tears to your eyes for the look of it. I do feel Mary there too.

G: Right.

Siddhananda: They're very fortunate to have both, and Mary is there holding Christ's arm like they are one essence. And she's lovely, always. So, anyway, these rays are penetrating out and I see that bag of dirt, and what i'm seeing is light going through that.

G: Right, it's just going to cut through that bag.

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: And, all the dirt is going to come out, for sure.

Siddhananda: It's kind of cute, too, because it sounds like he gathered quite a few little green sprouts in there, either he gathered that or something was there, like this is growth.

G: Yeah, in the midst of darkness there is always a seed of light.

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: Or something that can grow from it that can be beneficial.

Siddhananda: Right, which is a nice image to see that the sprouts are still as fresh and green as can be. They're just little sprouts with this clumpy dirt, and the dirt is actually looking rich.

G: Yeah.

Siddhananda: The dirt is not even really dried out, so, it still has that hope of something good.

G: Yeah. It can regenerate into something else.

Siddhananda: Yeah. So, with this light going through that bag of, what he felt was, dirt [which] was a wrong notion. It wasn't that.

G: Right.

Siddhananda: But, that's what he felt and he carried it as a heaviness, which it was never that.

G: Right, he doesn't need to have that heaviness because that wasn't in his heart and mind.

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: He was not doing it out of hate and anger and this and that. That was not it. He got caught up in something.

Siddhananda: And, that's the whole difference, like you say, it's the heart, it's the intention.

G: Right, he did what he did to protect his family.

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: It wasn't done out of malice or greed or whatever.

Siddhananda: Right.

G: It wasn't done out of that.

Siddhananda: So, this light is going through that bag. It's a lovely image and i again wish i could give a snapshot, but, it comes and it goes.

G: Aha.

Siddhananda: But anyway, I do see the bag and the light is going through the whole thing. I see the man a little bit more, looking like, just in wonder, like stopping and almost looks like a little child or someone that just saw light all of a sudden for the first time.

G: Yeah.

Siddhananda: That wonder of just being there (smiling) (gesturing with eyes wide open as in awe).

G: I don't have to carry this, i don't have to carry. No, you don't have to carry (smiling)

Siddhananda: Right. He even put his hand away from it. The bag is sitting there and he's just more sitting and looking. He's not even looking at that and focused on that bag anymore. And, that bag, all of a sudden, interestingly, turned into some gold coins.

G: (nodding in acknowledgement).

Siddhananda: It turned to some kind of riches in there.

G: Yeah, because he can learn a valuable lesson from that. That's a valuable lesson to be taken away from it. There is value in that.

Siddhananda: That's so good, Guruji, the way you put that, very nice! (pause) Beautiful.

G: He's got to understand what's judged is the heart and the mind. It wasn't his intent and he’s going by the actions, which he had nothing that he could do to prevent that, and taking all this on that doesn't need to be taken on.

Siddhananda: And, so, here he sits, you see him a very humble man, he looked like he was really poor, kind of desperate, and then there is this bag of gold next to him, but he's not looking at it, he's looking at Christ.

G: Right.

Siddhananda: That's the message of he's a humble man. He really is, a humble poor man.

G: Yeah.

Siddhananda: So, it's a beautiful image, and maybe we could just leave that there or what do you think?

G: We'll leave them. He will turn around, and he will be able to go forward from this point into some resting time and then go back into corporeal form and continue on in what he needs to continue with.

Siddhananda: For sure, and i do see some of those coins being poured and are kind of dispersed. It's just more light coming in, but, that was the symbol, like you said, that value in any kind of experience, there's value, there's something to learn.

G: Right.

Siddhananda: So, off it goes (moving stone over to a shelf).

G: Off he goes.

Siddhananda: That was a nice one, huh?

G: Yes.

There's hope

Siddhananda: Okay, a big dark one (showing a dark stone).

G: Yes, a nice big dark smokey quartz. 

Siddhananda: It got a lot of different layers to it, it's really nice in the light.

G: Yeah. In the light, it's very nice. It's interesting to see what energies choose what stones. 

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: They're specific to what they choose, i think. It's what's comfortable for that one.

Siddhananda: Sure.

G: It's either something that they need to develop or it's something that is comfortable for them at that moment.

Siddhananda: Yeah. At times, if it is a darker stone, they have a more shadowy energy.

G: Sometimes. Yeah. Sometimes they do. 

Siddhananda: You can never say.

G: Once in a while, no, but sometimes, yes. 

Siddhananda: Yeah. Let's see what this one has going on. (pause). i see the stone, it is pretty black-looking in my mind with some black aura streaming from it.

G: hmm hmm. 

Siddhananda: Okay, they are saying "i have a twisted mind, i have a dark mind."

G: hmm. Okay, why did they go off and when did that begin that you started to have a twisted [mind], because nobody comes in like that. That develops. So, what caused it to develop?

Spirit: i've been involved in some wrong things.

G: Right. 

Spirit: Playing around with fire.

G: Okay, playing around with fire?

Siddhananda: Like arson, [maybe], i don't know.

G: Okay.

Siddhananda: (pause) Yes, they like to play with matches, with burning things. It could be symbolic of something else.

G: Was anyone hurt?

Siddhananda: i'm hearing "yes, some animals", maybe. i don't know, i'm just getting the feelings, and all i can do is convey the feeling of it is not good.

G: Right. 

Siddhananda: Maybe some innocent life.

G: was hurt?

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: Yeah, they can get very twisted. This is what happens with serial killers and stuff. They start out and they develop, they abuse animals and they get very abusive.

Siddhananda: That's never a good sign.

G: It's not a good sign. (addressing the spirit) So, what caused the beginning of that twisting away from light? Do you remember?

Spirit: Pain, wanting to hurt something else.

G: Yeah. So they were in pain and usually they want to then afflict it on others. So, what caused that pain for you?

Spirit: i was beaten and abused.

G: Right. 

Siddhananda: Maybe, they were young then, impressionable.

G: Exactly. Because nothing comes in originally like that, you just don't. They could have had a number of incarnations where they had that [abuse] and they just.. 

Siddhananda: Right.

G: Do you know that that can be changed? Do you know that that pain can be taken away?

Siddhananda: i'm seeing that he's holding that imagery of hurt things, innocent life, and..

G: You know you can seek forgiveness for that and come back in to right the scales, to work for those that you hurt. 

Spirit: Can i?

G: Yes, you can. 

Spirit: i just feel like a deamon, a deamon spirit.

G: We can have Christ come in right now and work with that. Christ can cast that out. Christ is very good at casting that out. 

Siddhananda: (pause). Okay, Christ is there, very big in the scene, maybe even more. The rock is very small, it's nothing compared to that.

G: Right. 

Siddhananda: It's like a big angelic image standing above this rock.

G: Yeah, if you ask for forgiveness and you ask for Light, Christ can come in and take that away. He can take that away. 

Siddhananda: (pause) Okay, the rock is not so black looking in my mind, as Christ is working with penetrating light and presence.

G: Right. One can seek forgiveness, but, you have to be willing to turn your back on those things and go from that point into a new path. It's possible, one can be regenerated. They can be forgiven. 

Siddhananda: i see this soul almost like laying down asleep, almost like they were in such a deep dream with this stuff.

G: hmm hmm.

Siddhananda: Like they were in this deep maya.

G: Right. 

Siddhananda: You see them just asleep and some of that dream imagery coming up. They were just very thick in this.

G: Inundated with it, right. This consumed them.

Siddhananda: It's sad, you see them almost like an embryo in there. It's like it consumed their every cell.

G: hmm hmm.

Siddhananda: But, Christ is working and the light is penetrating that image, which was just saturated. i don't think they had any awakeness, at all.

G: No, when it becomes really really dark, really really dark, they can go into that almost sleep state and get reabsorbed into the Absolute, with absolutely no consciousness. 

Siddhananda: Wow, that's interesting.

G: Yeah. 

Siddhananda: It's feeling that way a little bit, because i don't usually see this heavy dreaming that they're in.

G: Right, they can become unconscious and be reabsorbed. 

Siddhananda: Loose their chance.

G: Yeah. But, that's mercy in the end. In the end, it's Grace. 

Siddhananda: Yeah, for them and for others.

G: For others, too. But, they do have a chance to turn around. If they have consciousness, they can be turned around and have life. 

Siddhananda: Well, this soul is very deep asleep. Although, i feel Christ there.

G: hmm hmm. 

Siddhananda: That will probably need some work.

G: Yeah, that's going to need some time. So, we ask that Christ be there and we also ask that Kali be there. Kali sometimes works with that very dark energies and can again help to cut away. 

Siddhananda: Christ and Kali, nice combination. i like that blend (smiling).

G: Yeah, Christ and Kali. 

Siddhananda: (pause). It definitely comes in with a very different energy when Kali enters the scene.

G: hmm hmm. 

Siddhananda: i see something that went in there, like wooosh.

G: hmm hmm.

Siddhananda: But, they're still thick in the dream.

G: Yeah. it's going to take some time. Again, they have to be consciousness enough to let go of it. It can't be taken away from you, against your will.

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: No one, not Christ, not Kali, none of the guides, masters, even God themself, cannot take something away unless you are willing to let it go. You have to let it go. 

Siddhananda: Yeah, and as you are speaking, i see their eyes open a little, but they are red and rolly, they're just really thick in this dream of dead consciousness.

G: Right, the dead consciousness gets deeper and deeper until it just closes down entirely. So, you have an opportunity to move forward, but, you have to try with all your being to be conscious and give this over and ask for that help from Christ and Kali.

Siddhananda: That's it.

G: You have to be conscious, you have to stay awake and allow them to help you. 

Siddhananda: They are rolling over a little bit, they are moving. They are not just a dead weight. Their eyes are opening a little bit.

G: (Picking up the stone, holding in hand and closing eyes)

Siddhananda: (pause) Okay, it's got a bit more quietness. i just see some different colors coming. They're still in their bed of dreams, lost there.

G: Yeah. Let's ask Christ is there help for this one. Is there anything else we can do?

Siddhananda: (pause). i do see that heart shining when you say that.

G: Yeah. That there is some hope for them. Is there something we can do to make it better for these types?

Siddhananda: "Sit them in stillness," i'm hearing, "sit them in Grace." Pretty much what we've been doing.

G: hmm hmm. So, we'll just do what we've been doing. We'll go ahead and put this one over by the healing center because it might take some time for this. The ones that are real heavy like that can take some time to breakthrough those dreams. 

Siddhananda: Oh, yeah.

G: The consciousness gets suppressed, it gets so dark, it's got no energy left. 

Siddhananda: That's it, it's dead energy. Nothing to circulate.

G: No. They think that when they are in that dark, they got more energy, they got more power. But, the further they go, they become dead. It just loses everything. 

Siddhananda: They didn't move, they were just dead weight. They were so deep asleep.

G: Right, one goes into unconscious realm of sleep, and those ones that are really unconscious will be absorbed back. It's like going into a black hole.

Siddhananda: Wow. i'm amazed that they even care.

G: If there's enough clarity to even come, then there's some hope. 

Siddhananda: That they made it here, there's hope. i do see in mind that there's that tiny seed.

G: Yeah. There's always that seed of light. If they can grab that seed of light, it can grow. But, they've got to tend it, nourish it and they've got to turn their back on that darkness. They have to be willing to turn their back and not engage it any longer. 

Siddhananda: There's some compassion for those ones that had to endure that, but, again you hear about these heinous acts and it's hard to even understand it.

G: Exactly. But, there has to come compassion because they're driven to do what they do. And they're driven in pain. They're in an absolute hell-realm doing what they're doing. 

Siddhananda: And they don't have any feelings anymore.

G: Right. They are so dead, they're trying to feel something. So, yeah, it's drawn all to the negative, unfortunately.

Siddhananda: Yeah, it's sad, but all we can do is have them there by the healing center. Things have turned around here. We've had some dark ones but nothing to this degree, but, we'll wait.

G: We'll wait and see what happens with them.

Siddhananda: The heart is shining.

G: The heart shining means there's some hope. We can't give up hope on it. All we can do is pray for that one, pray for forgiveness and that they would open up to that Light. That's all. We can pray for that the best be done in this situation at hand. 

Self-Imprisoned

Siddhananda: Okay, so, we'll get to the next one here. (pausing with closed eyes) It's always weird when i see my own reflection first.

G: (laughing)

Siddhananda: I just cut through that and keep going, it's like looking in a mirror.

G: It's all one (laughing)

Siddhananda: It's like looking in mirror for a minute.

G: I know, it's like woah! (making a facial impression like being startled)

Siddhananda: I know, anyway, [let's] see what happens next. (pause) Gosh, i'm hearing something and it's not fully coming to the surface.

G: Give it a few seconds, it will come in.

Siddhananda: (pause) Okay, so, i heard "I had myself in a bad situation."

G: Okay (pause).. in what way?

Siddhananda: Something where he was tortured and abused.

G: Okay

Siddhananda: ..locked up, shunned, spat on...bad things. Let's see why... It doesn't sound good, (pause) he's saying he did something bad, though.

G: He did something bad?

Siddhananda: Yeah (pause) He's saying he didn't harm others, so, i'm not quite [sure]... i do see a jail cell with him in there and it looks bad, it feels like it was a really bad situation for this particular man or whatever.

G: Yeah

Siddhananda: So, let me [get more details]..

G: What did he do, what did he break, what are the crimes that he did?

Siddhananda: That's what i'm trying to get out, (pause) He said he didn't do violence.

G: Right

Siddhananda: He's saying he went against the norms more.

G: He went against the norms

Siddhananda: (pause) he said he stole some things, too.

G: Stole something?

Siddhananda: Yeah, and something about going against the norms

G: Okay

Siddhananda: (pause) He's saying he stole maybe for himself and i guess, i'm hearing a little bit to help others, too. So, i don't know what that was about, fully.

G: Yeah, when you were saying that, i was getting the image of the theft, i was seeing like even if they stole a piece of bread they would throw them in the [jail]

Siddhananda: Well, that's exactly [right], and what i'm feeling, at least with this energy, is that it was more something that was against the norms, but also i think it was that kind of theft. Maybe he was hungry or his family was poor or something happened that made him do that. He's saying this is correct. He's not an evil man.

G: Right. No, i didn't feel it was done with an evil intention

Siddhananda: Right

G: He shouldn't have done it, but..

Siddhananda: Maybe desperation?

G: Desperation, right, it was a desperation, like a robin hood.

Siddhananda: That's exactly what I was just going to say (laughing)

G: (laughing)

Siddhananda: You put it out there, i love it. Take from the, what is it, take from the [rich, give to the poor]

G: Felt like a robin hood.

Siddhananda: It was, and he's smiling, he likes that because that's how he [was]

G: Right, exactly

Siddhananda: ..but he didn't feel that way at that [time]

G: that's the thing, he stole what he shouldn't and paid the price and he needs to let go of that.

Siddhananda: Right, because he was really shunned, he was spat on.

G: He's paid the price over and over again. He's been put in jail and tortured for it and he's also tortured himself over it. He judged it himself.

Siddhananda: That's right

G: So, he needs to quit the judgement.

Siddhananda: Right, and this is just me talking, but you can see how, through society, a lot of people that were punished wrongly in these ways and they were not that kind of thing or never did anything that was horrible, but it went against what was ever happening then and they were very severely punished, it was not good.

G: Right

Siddhananda: So, anyway that's the way this feels.

G: Right, so, all he needs to do is ask for forgiveness. We'll ask Christ to come in and ask for  forgiveness and that's the end of it, and he needs let go of it and move forward. (pause) He's doesn't need to continue to be punished... but learn the lesson and not steal again. That's all.(laughing)

Siddhananda: He's saying "NO", I never do that".. and he's hoping for better conditions when he does come into rebirth so [that] he's not starving or desperate.

G: Right

Siddhananda: That's what he would like.

G: And he didn't know he would [be] able to make whatever reparations he needs if he comes in.

Siddhananda: Right

G: ..give to those that are poor, give to those that are in those desperate straights. Make the reparation that way.

Siddhananda: Perfect!

G: Balance the scale

Siddhananda: Perfect, perfect, so, he's [asking] can he have the COS?

G: Absolutely

Siddhananda: (smiling) Okay

G: (smiling)

Siddhananda: I do feel more lightness to that imagery. It's much lighter and it's nice, so, thank you so much, (hand on heart)

G: Yeah, he needs to let go of that. I mean, geez, he was punished then and he's continuing  to punish himself. He's remained in that torture for how many centuries? so much time...

Siddhananda: Right, and that's the thing. He felt like he was bad, but that's what happens sometimes.
You did something wrong when you really didn't.

G: It was like medieval ages

Siddhananda: That's what it felt like

G: For pete's sake, let go already (laughing)

Siddhananda: (laughing) That's what it felt like. I'm laughing for myself too, let me tell ya.

G: (laughing) Okay. The jail cell is open and he can go free now.

Siddhananda: That's right. i guess, in that realm, like we say though, it doesn't have the same time in that ethers.

G: Aha

Siddhananda: But anyway, if you look at it though, god that has been a long time (laughing) Isn't it about time to let it go?  yeah..

G: Exactly, i mean he's way more paid for that

Siddhananda: Yeah

G: Pay for that whatever he took. He's more than paid for it, over and over again.

Siddhananda: Right, totally, and others are on their way, that time is done.

G: (laughing)

Siddhananda: Okay, a lot of people that have been wrongly accused, like those two (referring to this and the previous spirit), wrongly felt bad when they shouldn't carry that.

G: Right, and there's no reason to carry that. You pass out of life and you go through and you see the life review, but it's not there to sit there and punish yourself with, it's to take that lesson to know that's not the way to go.

Siddhananda: Yeah, perfect

G: So, learn that lesson.. [that] this is not the way to go, so let me go in this other direction.

Siddhananda: Right, use it as a jumping off point to go in another [direction]

G: A jumping off point to go back into life and go in a different direction. You learn that's not the direction to go.

Siddhananda: Right, and what i see with these two is that they are lucky [that] they remembered what that [was about].

G: Right, exactly!

Siddhananda: ..but not everyone does, like, if  they have a rebirth they carry that, but they don't know where it's really coming from, a lot of the times.

G: Yeah, exactly. It's under there but they don't have the details

Siddhananda: Yeah, so, that's what's nice that they [the two spirits] have that clarity. But, even if someone doesn't,  you just still keep facing it and dissolving those things because there's no need to carry it.

The Soft Stone

Siddhananda: Another nice pretty stone. Let's see (closing her eyes).

Spirit: When I came the energy is very lovely here, thank you. I'm hoping to get to the non-dual state and be free. I chose the soft stone because I feel, maybe, I have some calcification in there (laughing).

G: (laughing)

Siddhananda: They hope to break that down. I see some hard substance.

G: Yeah, some rigid things that need to be addressed.

Spirit: Right, but I chose the soft stone because I feel that I am wanting to soften that and break through that. It's an energy from past things, past actions.

G: Right, and so what can we help you with?
 
Spirit: This energy is good and soaking it in is beneficial in itself, but ... I don't know about my past life, and all my choices, I just have a feeling that maybe I did something not right. I don't know if it has to do with you (G and Siddhananda), or more the energy of that ... Kali, or maybe, I'm running away from that.

G: Right, right ... and that's okay. You don't have to know exactly what it is that you had done, but just resolve to move forward.

Spirit: Okay.

G: ... and just pray, ask for guidance, and that the Universe would put you in a form that will allow you to rectify that ... to go beyond it, and to learn the lessons you need to resolve what that was. 
 
Spirit: Okay. That sounds so simple compared to going back ... I mean, how far back do I have to go back to ask for forgiveness?

G: You don't. Just open your heart and ask sincerely for forgiveness. Yeah, that's all.

Spirit: ... and then what comes, comes from there.

G: Right. 
 
Spirit: Because, I don't really know what it is. It's a feeling, an energy, but I am open.

Siddhananda: I just got a flash of a male, but ... (shaking her head) ... it's been stuck in kind of an ego, toughness, or something ... masks, a lot of masks ... a lot of illusion. Maybe, he, in some ways nurtured that, or something. I don't know.

G: Right. So, just ask the Universe to provide the form that would best serve to break through that. 

Spirit: Okay. Thank you so much. Nothing else is coming now. I really have a feeling just through the energy connection, it's going to really begin to break down whatever is in there, and I am open to that now. I'm sooo happy to be here. I feel the combination of souls that are here, and all this, that have reached spiritual ripeness on what all levels that are open are going to make good for humanity, and the planet, and all ... all that are here. Thank you.
 
G: So, just be sincere in your search, and go forward, that's all ... and, a wise choice to pick a soft stone (laughing).

Spirit: (laughing) Thank you, namaste.

G: Namaste. I'm sure it's not the most comfortable for that energy (laughing).
 
Spirit: No, no, but it's ... I am squirming in here a bit (smiling).

G: I'm sure! (laughing)

Spirit: But, I was ready for the challenge. Namaste.

G: Good, good. Namaste. You're welcome and many blessings on your journey.

Siddhananda: Namaste.

Spirit: Thank you!