Carrying a burden

Siddhananda: (showing a small light brownish stone) There we go. (pause) Okay. So, i see this little rock exactly like it is, but, now with a little dark.. (long pause) Okay, they have a lot of dross in them.

G: Aha.

Siddhananda: (pause) [i] can feel that, just a lot of dirt, just a lot of crud.

G: Yeah. So, why are they carrying that?

Siddhananda: (pause) Almost like a big bag of it, stuffed with dross and dirt. Lets see (pause)

Spirit: I'm dirty.

G: Yeah, why did they say they're dirty? Why are they trying to carry that?

Siddhananda: (pause) [They're] saying people should shield their eyes to them. They're just so dirty and should be shunned. They should be locked up and imprisoned and all that.

G: Yeah. Why is that? Why do you think that way?

Siddhananda: (long pause) I heard something, but, i need to get clear that he did something awful, maybe even killed somebody.

G: Aha.

Siddhananda: He was involved with something like that. (pause) He was there, he was present. I don't know if he did it, maybe, one of those kind of things.

G: Yeah.

Siddhananda: I do see a gun. (long pause) I'm just feeling some involvement, but, i don't know if he..

G: If he did it himself.

Siddhananda: Yeah, and i don't feel like he was the one, almost like he's trying to stop it, that kind of thing.

G: He got caught up in something.

Siddhananda: Yeah, he was caught up.

G: And he's taking all the guilt on himself. Ask him what would have happened if he actually tried to intervene?

Siddhananda: With that situation?

G: Yeah.

Spirit: My family would have been hurt.

G: Right.

Spirit: My family would have been slaughtered.

G: Right.

Siddhananda: It was one of those things.

G: Yeah. You did not do the actual killing, so, why are you taking this on?

Siddhananda: Yeah, let me make sure he didn't. (pause) He did not do the actual killing.

G: Right. So, why is he taking that on? (pause) He can't control other people's actions.

Siddhananda: He did some bad [thing] or something, so, he could get out of something, but, then he got into something, or, Something turned around. He was involved in something not so good, but, out of trying to help something else. So, it was one of those "Damned if you do, damned if you don't" things.

G: Right. Catch twenty two position.

Siddhananda: Yeah, exactly. (pause) So, through him, through whatever happened, there were people hurt and killed. So, he's feeling it was his responsibility.

G: Does he know he can get forgiveness through Christ? (pause) He doesn't have to carry that heavy weight of the bag? (long pause) That God judges the hearts and the minds.

Siddhananda: (pause) Okay, some of it is a little quieter. I keep hearing, "i should be shunned". I do see that bag of dirt there.

G: Yeah, it's time to let go of the dirt. He doesn't need to carry it. Like i said, God is the judge of the hearts and the minds, not, as much of the action, (pause) but, of the intent and things behind it. 

Siddhananda: Yeah. (pause) He's crying.

Spirit: I didn't mean to, i didn't mean to.

G: Exactly, exactly.

Siddhananda: He's just pouring out tears.

G: He's punished himself. It's not God that's punishing him. He's punishing himself.

Siddhananda: Yeah. He goes, "I'm so sorry for who got hurt, I didn't mean to".

G: Right. So, i think Christ needs to come in and he needs to have that forgiveness.

Siddhananda: And again, that's like the sun coming in, really.

G: Aha.

Siddhananda: And, it is penetrating these rays. This time he is more angelic and ethereal and these rays are just penetrating all the way out.

G: Beautiful.

Siddhananda: Ooh, really [nice] imagery, i wish i could snap shot it. He's just like the sun, in this darkness.

G: Yeah.

Siddhananda: Really could bring tears to your eyes for the look of it. I do feel Mary there too.

G: Right.

Siddhananda: They're very fortunate to have both, and Mary is there holding Christ's arm like they are one essence. And she's lovely, always. So, anyway, these rays are penetrating out and I see that bag of dirt, and what i'm seeing is light going through that.

G: Right, it's just going to cut through that bag.

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: And, all the dirt is going to come out, for sure.

Siddhananda: It's kind of cute, too, because it sounds like he gathered quite a few little green sprouts in there, either he gathered that or something was there, like this is growth.

G: Yeah, in the midst of darkness there is always a seed of light.

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: Or something that can grow from it that can be beneficial.

Siddhananda: Right, which is a nice image to see that the sprouts are still as fresh and green as can be. They're just little sprouts with this clumpy dirt, and the dirt is actually looking rich.

G: Yeah.

Siddhananda: The dirt is not even really dried out, so, it still has that hope of something good.

G: Yeah. It can regenerate into something else.

Siddhananda: Yeah. So, with this light going through that bag of, what he felt was, dirt [which] was a wrong notion. It wasn't that.

G: Right.

Siddhananda: But, that's what he felt and he carried it as a heaviness, which it was never that.

G: Right, he doesn't need to have that heaviness because that wasn't in his heart and mind.

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: He was not doing it out of hate and anger and this and that. That was not it. He got caught up in something.

Siddhananda: And, that's the whole difference, like you say, it's the heart, it's the intention.

G: Right, he did what he did to protect his family.

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: It wasn't done out of malice or greed or whatever.

Siddhananda: Right.

G: It wasn't done out of that.

Siddhananda: So, this light is going through that bag. It's a lovely image and i again wish i could give a snapshot, but, it comes and it goes.

G: Aha.

Siddhananda: But anyway, I do see the bag and the light is going through the whole thing. I see the man a little bit more, looking like, just in wonder, like stopping and almost looks like a little child or someone that just saw light all of a sudden for the first time.

G: Yeah.

Siddhananda: That wonder of just being there (smiling) (gesturing with eyes wide open as in awe).

G: I don't have to carry this, i don't have to carry. No, you don't have to carry (smiling)

Siddhananda: Right. He even put his hand away from it. The bag is sitting there and he's just more sitting and looking. He's not even looking at that and focused on that bag anymore. And, that bag, all of a sudden, interestingly, turned into some gold coins.

G: (nodding in acknowledgement).

Siddhananda: It turned to some kind of riches in there.

G: Yeah, because he can learn a valuable lesson from that. That's a valuable lesson to be taken away from it. There is value in that.

Siddhananda: That's so good, Guruji, the way you put that, very nice! (pause) Beautiful.

G: He's got to understand what's judged is the heart and the mind. It wasn't his intent and he’s going by the actions, which he had nothing that he could do to prevent that, and taking all this on that doesn't need to be taken on.

Siddhananda: And, so, here he sits, you see him a very humble man, he looked like he was really poor, kind of desperate, and then there is this bag of gold next to him, but he's not looking at it, he's looking at Christ.

G: Right.

Siddhananda: That's the message of he's a humble man. He really is, a humble poor man.

G: Yeah.

Siddhananda: So, it's a beautiful image, and maybe we could just leave that there or what do you think?

G: We'll leave them. He will turn around, and he will be able to go forward from this point into some resting time and then go back into corporeal form and continue on in what he needs to continue with.

Siddhananda: For sure, and i do see some of those coins being poured and are kind of dispersed. It's just more light coming in, but, that was the symbol, like you said, that value in any kind of experience, there's value, there's something to learn.

G: Right.

Siddhananda: So, off it goes (moving stone over to a shelf).

G: Off he goes.

Siddhananda: That was a nice one, huh?

G: Yes.