First Projection

Siddhananda: (Holding the stone) "Dark, dark, dark, dark."

G: hmm hmm.

Siddhananda: "Dark, dark, dark, dark. Silence. Dark" (trying to feel what the spirit's conveying). "Stop it. Stop that mind. Silence."

G: They want silence. 

Siddhananda: I don't know if that or a message because it feels so rich and deep.

G: Ok.

Siddhananda: "Heart message." It does not feel that heavy though. I do feel some of that tantric [energy], but it doesn't have that heaviness. I'm not sure. It's been amazingly light. My hand could go like this easily (lifting the stone). Actually, I feel like I could float with it if I held it, which is interesting.

G: Right. 

Siddhananda: [See] if you feel the lightness (handing the stone to Guruji). It feels hollow.

G: Oh yeah. 

Siddhananda: I don't know how long that will last, but, it's interesting.

G: Yeah. It's got like a center of almost just that energy explosion.

Siddhananda: But, there's not that heavy [ness].

G: No, no, no. It feels like coming from that bindu and that first explosion of energy that takes place. That first I Am and that first projection. 

Siddhananda: Interesting.

G: Yeah, it's very light (handing the stone back to Siddhananda). It's almost like in that linga and it's coming down and [going through] that first projection of shakti, that shakti that starts to take place. 

Siddhananda: Interesting. When I hold it, it feels like a hollowed out egg.

G: Yeah, that pregnant void. Pregnant void.

Siddhananda: Yeah, almost feels empty. It's such a contrast to that tantric [energy] that pull you down to the ground. This is just (pointing upwards). Empty feeling. It's so light, it's just amazing.

G: Yeah.

Siddhananda: "Secret place, heart, tantra." Something about tantra. Could be that they have both, that light and heavy together.

G: It's feeling like they're in that Bindu, but right at that point where it's starting to move out into Shakti. Right at that apex, that point where it's starting to come from that unmanifest to the manifest. Right at that juncture. 

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: It's almost like that quantum where you have the explosion of the world starting to take place, from that unmanifest to the manifest. It's like right there at that juncture. 

Siddhananda: Interesting, wow! They're saying "Bindu sounds right, sounds good. But, this is heavy too. It's all of it. It's here."

G: It's like being in the middle of the linga where the two are meeting, where the linga is meeting the yoni, where that point is where it goes from the unmanifest to the manifest. 

Siddhananda: Nice!

G: They're right at that apex. Kind of like the Arthanareeswara, where you have the unmanifest on one side and the manifest on the other side, and they're right there in the center and heart of that. That makes the best feeling for expansion. Yeah, Arthanareeswara, half of it is Shiva, that unmanifest energy, that still point and the other half is Shakti, the motion. He's in the heart of that, right in the center of it. It starts to move and express. 

Siddhananda: That sounds right. It's about balance, [about] how it's all there in the heart. There's that ethers and earth connection.

G: hmm hmm. It's right at that very point. It's feeling like that Arthanareeswara, half is that Shiva and half is that Shakti, and they're right there in the center where that's connected and starting to make its motion into that manifest.

Siddhananda: Interesting to hear your words and the feelings expressed that way because here, I just get those [images, feeling].

G: The dichotomy of it, the one with the lightness and the heaviness. 

Siddhananda: Not so much, but the way that it's expressed. I'm feeling the light in this but the feeling is that there's also that rich connection to the earth.

G: Right. 

Siddhananda: The ethers, heavens and the earth meet in the heart, I suppose, and that's how that is. This is nice, the lightness of it.

G: Yeah, it is so light. You can feel that pregnant energy just ready to expand, just to explode. Yeah.

Siddhananda: Yeah. Those lingams are interesting, they're mysterious.

G: You never know what you'll get with them, the lingam is always the wildcard. This one is [nice], you can feel that overwhelming bliss, that Sat Chit Anand, Truth Existence Bliss compressed condensed in that. It feels like it just goes straight up, it's that Sat Chit Anand. Sat Chit Anand. Sat Chit Anand. Just ready to explode.

Siddhananda: It's very nice!

G: It's wonderful!

Dissolution of Me

Siddhananda: [I'm hearing] "My, me". "My, me"! (smiling)

G: "My, me"! (laughing) "Me, my, I! It's all about me. Pay attention to me!" 

Siddhananda: Exactly. "It's all about me."

G: (smiling)

Siddhananda: "Meeeeeeeeee..." (making a dragging sound), it's going like that. So, starting to dissolve.

G: "Meeeeeeeeee..." (imitating in a funny voice). 

Siddhananda: That's what happens in the energy here.

G: (Addressing the spirit) So, you're trying to hold that me together and it's not working so well for you now? (smiling)

Siddhananda: It's starting to slow down that me, and it's such a good thing.

G: It's good. It means they're losing that identification with that me story. It's like washing away, like "I can't even hold on to that energy any more, forget it! This is too much work." (laughing)

Siddhananda: Exactly. The me is getting very very tired.

G: That story is too much work. Let it go. 

Siddhananda: Poor worn out thing that it is. It does take a lot of effort to just maintain that.

G: It does. Takes a lot of energy to maintain that me story, takes a lot of mental projection for that. Once one enters [into realization], once you get to that realization, Turiyatita, there is no mind anymore, there is no projection. You're not losing your energy in keeping this stuff going all the time. 

Siddhananda: Perfect. That's really so well said and put out there. Again, it's the opposite of what the ego feels.

G: Right. 

Siddhananda: So, the me [for this soul] is draining, it's draining. Let's see if there are any questions that come up in this draining process.

G: Ok.

Siddhananda: (trying to gather what the soul is saying) "Deaf to my song of person. The ears are being shut to my song of person."

G: Right. 

Siddhananda: "The person that lived, struggling, person that forgot to...", (struggling to gather), i'm sorry. (laughing)

G: They're trying to remember their story, but it's not working so well. (laughing).

Siddhananda: I know that slowing of mind. "to....." (dragging sound, laughing).

G: I'm just not even hearing that story hardly any more, ok? It becomes like an old tape that one has played, and this tape becomes broken and the projector is just spinning now but the tape is not there. 

Siddhananda: It is kind of funny, though.

G: It is kind of funny when one is unwinding. So, we're going to ask if there is somebody in the healing center that wants to just aid this one to let go of their story.

Siddhananda: Ok. Let's see if we can get hold of someone that would be willing to help.

G: Yeah, we need another helper, if there's somebody there that will just continue to aid them with that. 

Siddhananda: And you want to know which one so we can get that one. Ok. (pausing with closed eyes). Ok, they're all there and they're all happy, the helpers!

G: (smiling) Yeah, the helpers, they're all waiting there [and going] "I want to help!". They're all good. 

Siddhananda: When we look at this [soul], they're starting to cross a threshold in the dissolution process, so, [we need] someone that could work with that.

G: Right. 

Siddhananda: (pause) "towards the back of it" (indicating the back row in crystal cave).

G: (Picks up one stone from the crystal cave).

Siddhananda: I was looking at the [same] one!

G: I keep getting drawn to this one. This is the one I keep going to. 

Siddhananda: Isn't that funny!

G: Yeah, we're both feeling the same thing. It just immediately pops out! It's this one (showing a clear heart). It's one of the clear heart. 

Siddhananda: Oh my gosh! That's exactly the one I was thinking of.

G: There must be 30 things in there and we're both feeling the same one. 

Siddhananda: And that's in the back too.

G: It's in the back. Exactly. (Handing the stone to Siddhananda). So, this is the one that wants to work with them for a minute. 

Siddhananda: So interesting how that works. That's what she was feeling and then it was said (pausing with closed eyes), [I'm hearing] "dripping down, drip down [to] where there is no personal world, where there is rest. Don't stop sinking down."

G: Yeah, continue to let that take place. Don't restrict it. Continue to let that fall away. 

Siddhananda: Yes (pause). Ok, there are some flowers emerging. "Let's work to continue to finish." They're thanking you.

G: You're welcome (hand on heart).

Siddhananda: I see your name and it's like "starlight, that's a good starlight to follow (hand pointing towards Guruji)."

G: Good starlight to follow. We'll take that (smiling).

Siddhananda: [They're saying] "Siddhananda lives, spirit lives. Psychic. Good team. Starlight follow." (smiling). I like that. "Starlight follow."

G: I'm the light, you're the spirit. So, it all works together. 

Siddhananda: These are perfect matches, right. "Don't think that this is about the body. The way to work, to one [is in spirit]." (gesturing working together).

G: Yeah, it has nothing to do with form. It has to do with the energetic connection that takes place. 

Siddhananda: Right.

G: So, we'll go ahead and put them both together over there and let them continue to give instruction and guidance and let them have their space. 

Prayer with Love

Siddhananda: (holding the stone and pausing with closed eyes). I do see Mary now. It's looking more like this one behind me (pointing to statue of Mary with open arms)..
(pause)

"Mary love. Mary love has entered." (hand on heart).

There's a candle and it's big. Mary feels this energy has put too much into prayer in the way of efforts that are constricted.

G: Some people can get into prayers and they just mouth the words and they're really not connected with what it's trying to point to. So, it becomes more of a bondage than something that is liberating. Prayer should point you to the direction of something that opens you up more, not just something you do by rote.

Siddhananda: That's right, and what i'm seeing as you're speaking is the prayer book goes boom (closing gesture). It's slamming tight. If you do [the prayer] that way, you lose the notes, the musical notes, you lose the music of it.

G: It's like doing the prayer, "Mother Mary, blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death." That's the one that they do a lot. But, they do it by rote. It's like a lucky charm or something.

Siddhananda: That's it.

G: It's a lucky charm. But, you can't make these prayers a lucky charm. It has to come from the heart and has to come with imbibing that and opening yourself up to that, not using it as a stop gap measure or [like] i'm going to hedge my bets with this.

Siddhananda: Or this makes me good, like you gain merit.

G: Right, like people that go and say "I'm saved by the blood of Christ, so I can do whatever," and they use it and abuse it. They don't use it in the right way. It's not coming from a place of surrender. It's coming from a place of ego covering.

Siddhananda: That's right, that's perfect. And it's also, like you say, done kind of tensely.

G: Right. It's not coming from the heart. It's like a parroting. Like you're pushing the button of  a recording, you're just saying it without feeling, without intention, without attention, by rote. And so, you're losing so much from that. She (Mother Mary) has so much to give those that really open their heart to that.

Siddhananda: Again, the feeling in the heart is in line with what you just said, what Mary is attempting to do, to transmute and put through this soul. You said it well with words and as you said, I do see those notes. What is being conveyed is a musical instrument and when you're one with that instrument and you're in love with that, you're devoted, then there's rich music. It's not like "I got to do this and get it over with."

G: Right. "This is something I have to do. I have to get to the priest, I've got to do my confession. I've got to do a number of Hail Mary's in order to save myself."  No, it should be a Love. It should be something that you come to and open that heart with love and devotion. It should be a sacred time, a time of opening, a time of blessedness for you.

Siddhananda: That's right. Also, there are some drops of blood, which means the blood of Christ,  Bread, Heart.

G: Right. Again, what she's conveying is that one should come to Christ and understand the sacrifice that he did. This is the taking of communion. When you're taking communion, you're supposed to be taking in Christ. You're supposed to be living that life, to being fed by his words, fed by his journey. You should be a follower of Christ, putting into place what he's teaching, not just hearing it and saying "Oh yeah. This is nice, this is nice. Whatever!" You should be walking that journey.  If you are a follower of Christ and walking his journey, you should be identifying with That, not as a separation, opening your heart to receiving Him.

Siddhananda: Perfect. Again, as you're saying, it's all just right, it's conveyed as best as possible. It's hard to put these in words, but your words are just right, in sync with what is being projected.

So, that's what is projected with this soul, the prayer lost its soul, lost its bread of life.

G: Right, it's losing its energy to benefit you because you are abusing its nature. It's not being come to in Love. So, if you're not coming to it in Love, you might as well not do it because you are closing yourself off from what it could be giving to you. It could be a blessing to you. It could be opening you up. It could be feeding you. It could be absolutely purifying to you. But, if you do it by rote, you're getting nothing from it. And it's actually becoming a hindrance because you're saying "I don't really want you. You're not that important in my world. You're not what i'm looking for. I'm just here to hedge my bets."

So, if you're going to be doing prayer or mantra, you have to open yourself and do it really from the heart, with Love, out of Love, within Love, and let it feed you.

Siddhananda: Perfect. That is very good.

G: So, thank you to Mother Mary for coming to give that message.

Siddhananda: So, this energy can stay and simmer for a while?

G: The message is already given. So, it's fine.

Siddhananda: I think it doesn't matter, it's like done.

G: Exactly. Let me check. It's gone. It was just to give that message and that message is now already out there in the ethers. So, there's nothing that needs to stay there.

Siddhananda: See how these things work? (smiling). We don't know.

G: That's the way it works. When it's done, it's done. The pendulum is just dead. It just sits there and wouldn't move.

Siddhananda: Absolutely.

G: It just came to give that message and that's done from that.

Moving beyond struggle

G: (Looking down, holding rock) Ok.  (Hands rock to Siddhananda)

Siddhananda: (Holding rock, eyes closed, after a few moments right hand goes up near heart and fingertips close to a point, palm up). I’m feeling some emotions that (incomprehensible word) are there. I now hear [some] thing.. this is silly, some song [just] came in.. (singing) “feelings... nothing more than feelings” and then there was a feeling of fear, but then there’s also [that] wanting to have that flame there to burn away the dross.

G: Ok, so which path have they walked?

Siddhananda: (Closes eyes for several moments) [i'm] getting "lifetimes of suffering, lifetimes of struggle," (pulling, rubbing with fingertips near heart area), "living in this secret place, mystic."

G: Yeah (nodding) I’m going to ask for Christ to come in to this one, yeah. I’m feeling more of that inner struggle, so I think that Christ needs to come in and tell them [there's] nothing to fear and that one needs to connect with that heart center and just be willing to go forward.

Siddhananda: (Namaste hands) I see these images, there was a bit of a blip and again it's hazy, this imagery, it's very different now, wow!

G: Uh-huh

Siddhananda: And now it’s a little bit clearer, and Christ is there with the open arms, there’s the robe, a cross (hand gesturing horizontally), arms open, and the robe draping down. He’s a handsome man! (Guruji laughs). [The images are] not as clear, yet it's there. I can feel that there and it's just resonating. It's vibrating outward more (changes gesture to hands moving outwards, palms facing inwards, pulsating).

G: So we’re just going to let Christ work with this person. We’ll put them in the crystal cave for a while and go ahead and let them work on that heart opening. There’s always that forgiveness and everything, I think it's more of a thing of forgiving themselves if they’ve been in this pain. I think they tried to walk a spiritual path but they’ve been so hard on themselves that they’re carrying this...

Siddhananda: Struggle

G: Yeah, struggle. They need to find out they don’t need to struggle. He’s done the struggle and they  just need to accept and relax into that and continue to go forward.

Siddhananda: Yeah, now would it be ok for this one to go in the crystal cave.

G: Sure, they can just sit there for now.

Edge of Realization

Guruji and Siddhananda have reopened the work with those on the other side. Guruji went through the stones which the spirits visit and picked some of them to work with today.

G: We’ll start with our linga friend (picking up a linga stone).

Siddhananda: Oh, boy, start me right out (rubs hands together in anticipation).

G: Yeah! (hands stone to Siddhananda).

Siddhananda: Oooh, its kind of cold. (squeezes stone in both hands, then holds it tightly in one hand... pause). OK, I’m seeing an outline (gesturing with hands), it looks like a face with a veil.

G: hmm hmm.

Siddhananda: I can't really see the face, but there’s definitely a veil there. I think, [with] the way the hands are going now, they’ll tell a story too (the hand holding the stone begins to shake, right hand raises, fingers close). Yeah, so that’s what’s appearing again, and there is some prayer hands there.

G: hmm hmm.

Siddhananda: (Right hand opens and closes fingers, as if stroking something downwards several times)..
[The spirit] says  “Have mercy on me. (gesture continues in more circular motion). I’m hearing  “Have mercy on me." Clear. (head slightly shaking back and forth).

G: Someone must have come back in, the other one that was there must have left.

Siddhananda: Oh, is there something different? Huh!

G: Yeah, because the one that was there before was one that had come in and just wanted to be in the energy.

Siddhananda: Hmmm, interesting. Well, maybe.

G: And they wanted to be with Big Baba Light.

Siddhananda: Oh, that’s interesting, because a lot of the times as they sit there, things process and shift, just like that.

G: hmm hmm (nodding). Exactly.

Siddhananda: So no one can say from moment to moment or even overnight how things change. That’s interesting about the Baba Light. So, we can only see what might happen as things go...

G: So let's see what’s going on with that one now.

Siddhananda: Ok (right hand resumes the stroking motion)

G: Last night when I did it, I balanced him out and it was the one that wanted to just simply be here in the energies. So, let's go ahead and ask it what’s going on. Let's see if [it's] somebody different, if they had left and shifted. Sometimes, they process and leave and then someone else can come in. Either that or they have another facet, other parts of their journey. We’ll see.

Siddhananda: Yeah, you never know (stroking downward over heart, closes eyes, holding stone in left hand). Yeah the face is appearing a little bit more clearly. “Have mercy on me”... (pause). Ok, I’ll see if there’s a question in there.

G: Yeah, have mercy for what?

Siddhananda: (Gesturing with right hand in stroking up motion, eyes closed). [They're] just feeling as if dying.

G: Oh, as if dying.

Siddhananda: Feeling as if dying... (pause)

G: Ok, ok. Are they the one that wanted to be with Baba Light?

Siddhananda: It's interesting, I’m just not getting much now on that. When you said that it just really settled into this grounded-ness.

G: hmm hmm (nodding). Ok, that’s what’s going on, they’re going. Let me work on him again. (Siddhananda hands Guruji the stone). 

Ok, what’s going on with this one, is one that had come in, they just wanted to be in the energy, and they wanted to be with Baba light. I think what happened with this one is they’re transitioning so quickly, they’re on the edge of realization, and, they’re just in that fear mode for that last step because it does feel like extinction. The last step is very difficult to do. 

So, let me see if I can work with him just a second (holding stone, eyes closed for several moments, swaying with the energy... then hands lingam back to Siddhananda). Ok, let me see what you pick up now.

Siddhananda: (Closes eyes, holds stone between hands as if in “Namaste” hands, raises hands several times to frame her face, gesturing up). Yeah, there’s one nice feeling of being blessed, (holding left hand vertical, right hand resumes stroking up and down motion), much more centered, and again, [with] the way that these things are happening, [there's] just that centered-ness, that heart, that lotus.

G: So what I did was, I worked to balance them out some more (left hand gestures up and down in front of face in stroking motion), and then I asked for the Himalayan Master to come and to let them know that last step is quite fine to take, that there is no death, that they can go ahead and transition into that last step.

Siddhananda: That’s very nice!

G: I though that the Himalayan master would be a good one to work with them.

Siddhananda: Yeah, it’s a good one. As things heat up I think connecting in with those different things is going to take a little bit [help from other side], [like the] Himalayan master.

G: Right, right. I called in the Himalayan master because he was with Big Baba Light, and again they can transition so quickly and get to that edge and that edge feels like extinction. It really feels like you are going to totally cease to exist, and the persona does (laughing), but it's liberation. But, that last step can be a difficult one to take.

Siddhananda: Should we put this one up on the top shelf over there, or where did you want this one?

G: Yeah, I’m wondering the healing center or the top shelf, I think they’re going to transition the whole way, so I think it can go up on the shelf with the others in the stillness area.

Siddhananda: I’m in a rocking chair, people, so this is the way I get up now.

G: (laughing) Rock away!

Siddhananda: (getting up to put lingam on top shelf) Ok, it kind of catapults me to where I need to be.

G: Ok

Siddhananda: (sitting down) Yeah, that’s the thing, it shifts so quickly within this energy... one thing is here and then it's there, we just can’t say.

G: Exactly.