Want to Know God

G: (Showing a dark stone with a stripe).

Siddhananda: Oh, a striped one!

G: Little stripy one here. 

Siddhananda: Yeah.

G: (Turning the stone to the other side) Got another stripe on this side. Very interesting. 

Siddhananda: Yeah, very [interesting]. (pause). Okay, right away i heard "I want to know God."

G: hmm hmm.

Siddhananda: Let's see where he came from. (pause). Again, not [from] the Mayan ruins or the area. So, they just went over there to you this time instead of [coming] over here. (laughing).

G: Yeah (smiling). They're just coming from the ethers or somewhere, i don't know how they got here (smiling). 

Siddhananda: Yeah, and it doesn't matter. You know how that is, that's how it works. Who knows. (smiling).

G: That's right. If they come through there or here, it doesn't matter. It's the same thing. 

Siddhananda: Yeah. (pause). He's saying he left a present for you in your heart, like an image of a rose or a flower.

G: Thank you. 

Siddhananda: And for me too, he's going to give me one, which is nice.

G: Very nice. 

Siddhananda: (pause). i'm just feeling that connection here with him. i don't know why he was building that. (chuckling). There's that connection there and i can feel it.

G: Right. (smiling).

Siddhananda: Okay, so what questions do you have for us today? (pause). i'm just hearing he's lived somewhere where there were a lot of rituals being done.

G: Okay.

Siddhananda: It wasn't a really good time. There was more rituals that left people [as] some being higher and some lower, all those lines were drawn that were really not a good thing.

G: Right. 

Siddhananda: And you had to follow them or you were in trouble!

G: Exactly.

Siddhananda: (pause). i don't know, i'm hearing a little bit of 'Sufi'. It's hard to say, i'm just trying to get his question. (pause). i see some footsteps like he walked with some of the holy men and women.

G: Okay (nodding).

Siddhananda: He's not totally still. Just wants to be guided to that majestic heart.

G: Yeah, i would say for him the COS. 

Siddhananda: Okay, cut through all that (smiling).

G: That will take him into some expansion. 

Siddhananda: Sounds good. (pause). He's saying thank you so much.

G: Thank you. 

Ask for Liberation

Siddhananda: (Showing a small lingam) We have another one! (referring to previous stone being a linga as well)

G: Oh, another linga, okay (laughing). Hopefully, that one was listening in.

Siddhananda: (laughing) (the linga rolls) Where'd it go! It rolled under the computer, it left for a minute. I don't know how these things move, but they do. They have feet or something, I tell you! All the sudden they're there and then they're somewhere else (laughing)

G: (laughing) 

Siddhananda: Maybe it was trying to hide under there, but, I don't know. We'll find out (laughing) I'm hearing that they do want to shrink a little after that [last spirit's session] because they're in the lingam and they don't feel like they can meet that or match up with that one (referring to previous spirit that was contemplating lingam and yoni)

G: (laughing hard)

Siddhananda: So, they don't even know, if they should go back to where they came from (laughing).. They're glad you're laughing, but that's the way they feel. They wanted to roll right under the computer as if they were never ever here. (laughing)

G: [It was like] "i was going to come and share all my great wisdom, and now i'm like hiding and hoping they wont' see me" (gesturing hiding under desk) (laughing)

Siddhananda: That's the thing, and he came in a lingam and he's just like "Oh, No!" (laughing)

G: That's so funny!

Siddhananda: He's glad you're laughing. He's glad we're laughing.

G: Tell them it's okay (laughing)

Siddhananda: Yeah. Okay, let's see.. (pause) i'm seeing the image of a householder and it sounds like he's done all those things, [rituals] to Ganesha where they're just wanting good things for themselves (smiling)

G: Right, exactly

Siddhananda: He doesn't see the cosmos in the lingam, i just see a happy household. I mean, he was a good husband and raised his kids, but, in that old traditional way of "give me, give me" and all the stuff that they do

G: Right

Siddhananda: So, he's just [saying] "Help me, please!". He's saying "After that example, my goodness. I really see where this can go and what I've [missed]. I've just not been in the heart of it at all"

G: Right. Now, see the Universe set that up so that's what he can follow (laughing) You may want to aim a little higher next time (teasing)

Siddhananda: He's like "that's in there, this whole thing!" (referring to the deeper message of lingam and yoni), He's like "My God, that's what that was about? I was just doing it as a rote thing"

G: Exactly, it's like "Ganesh, let me have good house, let me have good business, let me have sons..", I know the whole trip

Siddhananda: That's exactly it. He did all of that and he was pretty heavy into it, just like any of them.

G: Yeah, it's the thing, they're asking for gifts, they're not asking for the wisdom, they're not asking for enlightenment

Siddhananda: Right

G: So, this next time, ask the Ganesh for the deeper things, so that he can see that it leads to freedom, liberation in motion on all levels.

Siddhananda: (pause) He is on his knees, he's crying, actually. He didn't know what he was doing.. He knew that it was selfish, but, he did not know that [deeper meaning]. He just didn't do it, he's lost that chance.

G: Right. Well, he can have another chance. He can come in again, he can have another chance. But, this time, aim for higher things, ask for liberation,  don't ask for the physical stuff, ask for the things of the spirit.

Siddhananda: (pause) and i'm seeing a lingam coming up in my mind with a flower, like he's wanting to flower that, he's wanting to take that in a different way. I do see a cup he's holding [like] he wants to drink it in a different way. He didn't know and he's glad [he knows now], it was hard for him to hear that from the one that came before, but, it really jolted him.

G: Exactly, it's what he needed to see, that's called Grace! (laughing)

Siddhananda: "Yes, I see how Grace works, it's hard hitting, it's hard", he says.

G: It is hard. But, if he's ready, he can come in and ask for a teacher, ask sincerely for a Guru from his heart and he'll find a Guru in this next life time. Don't miss the opportunity again.

Siddhananda: (pause) Yes, so, he's wanting to know what practices he should be doing.

G: Yeah, he can do the COS,

Siddhananda: He's very grateful for that and he's bowing. He's got his rudraksha beads, his mala beads in his hand and he's holding them to his heart, he's crying and he's sad that he didn't honor that light the way he should have.

G: That's ok, just tell him "Don't be sad, you'll have another chance. That's why you're here. He's a good man and that's why you're here and you got the Grace to do it now."

Siddhananda: Yes, he's a good man and he tried to do the best with the rituals that he did, he just didn't know.

G: Exactly, he was just ignorant, he didn't know. He's a good man, so, now the Light has come, this opportunity has come. 

Siddhananda: And, he's offering you a flower and he's offering his heart as if to say i will sincerely try now, and saying thank you.

G: Thank you for coming (gesturing namaste)

Siddhananda: Boy, that worked out well! (smiling)

G: Yeah (smiling)

Lingam and Yoni

Siddhananda: [I'm hearing] Lingam... Unborn... Sadhu… Sadhvi… It sounds like he came to this, he has done a lot of rituals with the linga.

G: Hmm hmm. 

Siddhananda: And he does feel like he would like to talk with you.

G: Okay.

Siddhananda:  Because, he knows you have been there a lot, to India, and around that.

G: Hmm hmm

Siddhananda: I see him pouring ghee and all that on the linga. The Ganges… going in there barefoot… the rushing water. Umm… without… almost unclothed.. he’s got some covering… Anyway, I guess, the feeling of that is not really necessarily stuck in that, but…

Spirit: How do I bring that into my soul?

Siddhananda: Maybe he has just done those rituals and he has done all that.

G: Right, right, right. Okay. What I would say to him is rather than seeing that external, maybe, if he is in spirit, to go to like Khajuraho… and to go up into there .. and into the inner sanctums and stuff. Because usually when you are there, you look to the outside. The outside world is supposed to be left behind. And as you go into the inner sanctum where the linga is, you are supposed to be going deeper and deeper into spirit..

Siddhananda: Hm hmm.

G: ..and leaving this physical world behind, rather than staying connected to the physical world, while you are doing the ablutions and the things that you are doing with the linga. 

Siddhananda: Hmm hmm.

G: The linga is representative of that unmanifest… of that IS…  brahman… in the end. So, you have to go back through the yoni… go back through existence (hands moving along a groove), and into that stillness (hands moving up and down along the cylinder of the linga)… into that… 

Spirit: So these are more like, I guess, gates almost…

Siddhananda: He is saying gateways.

G: Like gateways. Yeah, yeah.

Siddhananda: And I need to be honest, as I am speaking, I am seeing that light coming through. He’s doing all he can because he wants to ask questions. And he doesn’t want to be… I don’t know. I guess he needs to get this cleared up first. He’s kind of swept away with this light coming now.

G: (laughing) 

Siddhananda:  Yeah… Okay… So I am seeing the vision of that cave, and that linga in there, the center of it kind of, where it’s quiet and away… and more…

G: Right… And one goes into that quietude. And one allows themselves to be absorbed into that unmanifest, that IS… What the linga is representative of… that brahman… that still point… that light beyond lights… That… That’s where you want to be. 

Siddhananda: And I see a fire. Like there’s a fire in there… there’s a fire in that cave of the heart. I guess it’s sheltered from the nonsense or something… or the antics of the world… from the playing out of the world.

G: Right.

Siddhananda: But, he says…

Spirit: Then what? If I enter into that, then what?

G: Then you will understand Brahman. Everything goes from that linga. Then, once again proceeds out and makes the manifest into Shakti. You have been experiencing Shakti, all of the world of duality. (showing the open palm of the hands) Now it is time to go beyond that (hands closing in together), into that non-dual, that IS, to understand what is that God… to understand God directly… what IS…

Siddhananda: So I am getting the image of the cave… the fire.. it’s kind of…  (hands spreading out slightly as if from a fire)

Spirit: So, I am not trying to shield myself from the world?

G: No… you are not going to shield yourself from anything. One goes from the unmanifest  (hands motioning vertically above) to the manifest (hands motioning horizontally forward) and it goes back into again (hands moving vertically above)… absorbed again… and that play takes place.

But even in all of the manifest realm (showing open hands), all that is seen is that unmanifest seed (hands closing together, fingers touching for a brief moment)… that linga, if you will. It is in the center of all the manifest world.. So you are not losing anything… 

Siddhananda: He’s really feeling… Oh my gosh .. I can like see a yantra I guess. He is seeing how they are kind of… it’s not separate.

G: Yeah…  It’s not separate. That seed has to be in the very center (left hand fingers held together to a point). And that's what you have to go into, that point of stillness (motioning the fingers down into a conical point)… Where it all emanates from.. 

Once that starts emanating,.. then it’s shakti. It subdivides (fingers spreading like waves in space spreading )… then these lights, like a subdivision into the seen world. But in the midst of all of them is that what that quantum IS… is that singular essence (fingers pointing to a single point). It's the same. 

Siddhananda: All of a sudden, he had a flash, like… [you and] I are one…  kind of like… you see these separate things, but that's like an energy… or more.

G: Right.

Spirit: It doesn’t mean that that is here, that is here, that is here…

Siddhananda: (motioning hands to 3 different points)

G: No. It’s like a reflective state, like a mirror.

Spirit: Yes yes yes…

Siddhananda: He’s saying he just got a flash. There's been some flashes with him and he wants to thank you so much for that. Because, it feels, you know… maybe he didn’t know. Like when you are so familiar with a certain thing… a certain way of believing… or this or whatever. Of course you hope, but you don’t know until you feel that in your own soul..

G: Right, you have to experience that. But any time you see a yantra or any of that, there is that still point in the center (fingers coming together towards a  still point). That’s representative of the same as linga (opening up the hand)… and then the rest of it is like the yoni. It’s coming out (hands showing waves flowing outwards in space)… to the manifest world.  (hands waving out from a center point) 

Spirit: But they are together.

G:: Yeah, but they are all together. It’s all energy.

Spirit: Like Kali and Shiva? One foot on Shiva? Is that the same?

G: Hmm hmm… That’s like Kali with the Shiva? Shiva is laid.. And she has one foot on him…  Right, exactly. 

Spirit: Is that like the same?

G: It is like the same.

Spirit: In a way this is one.

G: There is no separation. no separation. And if you allow that light to come in and draw you into that light beyond lights, what you want to enter is the light beyond lights. 

Siddhananda: He can’t really speak now. So, because, I see that light, that absorption, I guess, I will just speak for him. He’s understanding that full absorption and the light remains. I see this light and emanations (hand movement showing emanations from a point). That’s where I can say where he is right now, in terms of his understanding. And he’s also quieter.

G: So just letting that experience come to him a little more.

Siddhananda: Letting in, sitting with that… basking in that… (sighing) I am not getting much more imagery than that right now, so…

G: So, let me hold him for a few seconds here (holds the rock and closes her eyes)

Siddhananda: I just heard something saying, all is God…

G: Yes… mm hmm.

Siddhananda: God is all… and all is God. Yeah…  (both of them pause for some time with closed eyes)

(G and Siddhananda folding hands in namaste)

G: He will be… we will leave him by that cave for a while. I think that he needs some cave time.

Siddhananda: It will be perfect for him right now.

G: He has definitely gotten still. And all the activities settled down. So, we will let him go into the cave now for a while.