True Fulfillment

Siddhananda:  Okay, we've got our little linga (showing an oblong, black stone). So, here's our next feeling, or our next energy (laughing).

G: Well, that's it ... the next energy.

Siddhananda: (pausing with eyes closed) Hmm ... taking a long time with this one. I'm hearing, "Brushing heaven ... strokes of heaven," like painting that, or something.

G: Okay, is there something that you came to ask, or something you came to say, as the case may be?

Siddhananda: (sitting with eyes closed) What I'm hearing, and I asked if this was correct, is "Heaven here on earth."

G: (nodding) It can be, yes. [There's] no separation.

Siddhananda: They are disembodied now. With the strokes, maybe they're saying you create your own...

G:  ... your own reality.

Siddhananda: [You create your own] land, or reality, and that's what the strokes are, like in a painting.

G: Right, you create your own story.

Siddhananda: He's painted things for his story, which is the realm he's in right now. This realm of sun, really pretty sunsets and sun rises, and the sky is always beautiful colors. [There are] really nice mountains with flowing waters. This beautiful place, he said that he's painted that, and he's there.

G: Right.

Siddhananda: Sometimes he changes it, and paints it a different way (chuckling lightly with a smile).

G: (laughing)

Siddhananda: A different color today (grinning)!

G: Just want a different color today (laughing).

Siddhananda: He saying, "You can do that."

G: Yes, you can.

Siddhananda: Let's see what he's wanting here, though (closing her eyes). I think he's ready to move on. At least, I'm hearing that. I don't know if it's immediately, but I think he's trying to look at things a little more. Like is this really satisfying? Is it fulfilling ... eternally? [It's] that kind of thing.

G: Right, right (nodding).

Siddhananda: And I don't think it is for him (nodding).

G: No, no. You can do all that, yeah. You can create and you can call into being all of these different things, and these experiences, etc., but until one knows what's at the heart of being, that IS, that God presence, then after awhile it becomes un-fulfilling.

Siddhananda: I'm sure (nodding). It's just like the lokas, or ...

G:  ... the lokas, right ... the heavenlies. Mm hmm, right. They're kind of like vacation spots, one can say (laughing).

Siddhananda: Mm hmm, exactly.

G: [They're] like vacation spots for a time, but eventually one has to want to know what is truly at the heart of being. So, when you get ready to truly know what's at the heart of being, that's when you have to submerge into the heart.

Siddhananda:  He's really hearing you. I think he's been at this awhile (chuckling). He's painted his beautiful life, and he wants to say, that it's not all that it's cracked up to be in some ways. He's saying, "That's what ego would like, [what it's] always hankering after, and thinks that's it."

G: Ego thinks it wants it, but eventually finds out that that's not fulfilling.

Siddhananda: Right, and I think what he's saying is [that] it's still of ego.

G: It is still of ego (nodding).

Siddhananda: It's of a persona ...

G:  ... in control.

Siddhananda:  Yeah!

G:  It's still from control. I (ego) want to control my universe.

Siddhananda:  Of course, it does.

G:  It doesn't matter if you have control of the universe, and you make it as beautiful as you can, it's still empty of something.

Siddhananda: Right. For sure. For sure, and that's what he's feeling is there, that [emptiness]. There's still that ache there. There's that separation there.

G: Yeah. That's what he needs to find out. The separation is that he's attempting to control.

Siddhananda:  Mmm ... (closing her eyes).

G: You have to let go of all that control.

Siddhananda:  He's trying to be the manipulator of his reality.

G: Right, right, right. You have to let go. Like they say, let go and let God. Then, you'll find out there's nothing to control.

Siddhananda:  (pausing with closed eyes) This is hard for him to hear. It's a hard lesson.

G: It's a hard lesson (nodding yes).

Siddhananda:  Wooh ... it's a hard lesson for him! I mean, he's been at this for a long time.

G:  Yeah, exactly.

Siddhananda:  Even maybe while he was in body, he's been at this kind of thing, creating his own rightness for himself.

G:  Exactly!

Siddhananda:  This is a hard lesson, but I am feeling that he's open to it, but GOSH it hurts him.

G: It's hard to let go of that control when you've wanted that control for so long a time, and you've had that type of control to manipulate this and manipulate that. Having to let go and let God can be a difficult thing. Yeah, but you have to let go. Let go, and you will find out there was nothing to control (smiling).

Siddhananda: Oh, that's hard for him (shaking her head).

G: Yeah, it's tough (nodding with a smile).

Siddhananda:  I'm seeing a lightning bolt, though. I am seeing how that's ripping on him in a way that he doesn't even know, really, what he's asking for. But, that was at his heart ... that this has gone on too long ... that it's not true fulfillment.

G: No, it's not true fulfillment. The only true fulfillment is knowing that IS, that ever present IS that gives life, that is Life.

Siddhananda:  Absolutely! What you're saying is piercing him. What I saw is an image of this beautiful sunset with the mountains. I saw a ripping of that, but there was some light, like Christ, or energy, coming through that. It was like a torn canvas (gesturing as if slicing through a canvas with a knife).

G:  (nodding) It's the illusion. The illusion has to be torn, and one has to step into reality, because he's in a dream state of his own making.

Siddhananda:  Yes, that's it exactly!

G:  You have to wake up. Wake up! (laughing)

Siddhananda:  Yeah, this is hitting him. This is hitting him (nodding gravely).

G:  Absolutely, it's going to hit.

Siddhananda:  It's like those [Zen masters] ...  like you say, wake up! ... they hit you over the head, because you are just ... ehhhh (gesturing as if floundering in a kind of sleep) ... in your own ...

G:  ... in your own dream state ... in your own delusion.

Siddhananda:  Yeah, delusion ... fantasy world.

G:  Delusion and fantasy, yeah.

Siddhananda:  Which you may think is pleasant, but it's like that one guy that came in that ate all the sweets with the cavities. It does create [dis-ease]. It's not a healthy thing.

G: No, in the end, it's not, but it takes a long time to come out of that, and to see that that is not [beneficial]. You can tell people this for a long time, but they're not going to believe you. It takes a very long time, as is evidenced by this [soul's situation], to get that, and to find out that it is the truth, and that it is not fulfilling in the end. It's not.

Siddhananda: For sure. No, and you can really get [trapped] in your own world with that.

G:  Yeah, you can get lost in that for a lot of eons.

Siddhananda:  Wooh! ... and this one did.

G: It's a lot of eons, a lot of eons, and lifetimes, and ... yeah, yeah (nodding).

Siddhananda: Again, I think it's what people think they want sometimes, but ... boy! (shaking her head).

G:  Exactly!

Siddhananda:  But, think again! That's all. Just take some time to consider that.

G:  Yeah, yeah (nodding in full agreement).

Siddhananda:  So, anyway, that image is there with that ripping apart [of the illusion], the light, and Christ there. It's strong! He's feeling that. That's what he's saying. He's really feeling that in his heart with that lightning bolt like a Vajra (opening her eyes wide).

G: Yep, like the Vajra (nodding gravely).

Siddhananda:  Like the Vajra!

G: Yeah, it's very, very strong. We'll let him go ahead to find out [what] Christ [is], and surrender into that, surrender into God. Have no fear in that, and find out what is at the center of being.

Siddhananda:  Christ is there, yeah (nodding).

G:  He's chased the illusion long enough.

Siddhananda: Oh, man (shaking her head).

G:  He knows what all the illusion is (laughing).

Siddhananda: Yeah (nodding and smiling). You know what you want, or maybe, it's what you don't want now, but still ...

G:  Exactly, ... but now find out the truth (laughing).

Siddhananda:  I am seeing some dripping colors (gesturing as if paint is melting down a canvas). They're starting to drip. It's his sorrow, but also it's ...

G:  Yeah, yeah ... he's starting to let that go of it (mimicking Siddhananda's gesture of paint dripping).

Siddhananda:  ... letting go, yes.

G:  Yeah, it's starting to melt (nodding with approval).

Siddhananda:  It's releasing all of the emotions attached. That's melting. I can see it's like melting colors in the rain just dripping down, and then there's Christ there.

G:  When he sees what the reality is, he'll see it's much more beautiful than anything he could ever create (smiling joyfully).

Siddhananda:  Mmmm ... he's drinking that in. He is. He is. It's going to be a little while maybe, but I don't know. No one can say with these things in time. Who am I to say, but it is beginning ... quite intensely, actually. So, that's a good thing.

G: (gesturing namaste) So, we will leave him with that.

Siddhananda: (gesturing namaste)

G: He's got enough to process for awhile (laughing).

Siddhananda:  I think so! (laughing as she places the stone aside)

G:  Thank you for coming.

Siddhananda: Thank you for melting! (laughing)

G:  (laughing) I'm melting!

Siddhananda:  I'm melting! No, but it's all good (smiling).