I Am Not

Siddhananda: (holding a little stone in her hand) This one reminds me of a little piece of candy, or something.

G: It's got a grit to it (shaking a fisted hand), you know ... that one has got a grit to it.

Siddhananda: It does. There's something that looks like this, that is a candy (showing a little, red square stone that looks sugar coated).

G: It looks like maybe a garnet, or something like that. A rough garnet.

Siddhananda: Oh, is that the name of it (looking at the stone as she turns it over in her hand)?

G: Yeah, I think the stone might be a garnet, or a ruby in its rough form that hasn't been polished yet ... au naturel (chuckling with a smile).

Siddhananda: Oh, interesting. It's almost like a little chunk of a tree branch. You know, you brought back (from Mexico) some really unusual stones here. They're really fun to look at and feel.

G: Yeah, they each have a different vibration, for sure.

Siddhananda: (closing her eyes) There it is turning a light blue ... a light blue aura. I'm hearing something. "I'm not ... , " ... something ... is what they're trying to say, but I'm not sure. Let me make sure, and,  ... I'm not (opening her eyes momentarily and smiling).

G: I'm not, and you're not [something].

Siddhananda: I'm not either! Let's get these things together here, somehow in sync!

G: (laughing)

Siddhananda: (closing eyes) Okay ... yeah, so somehow ... I'm not and you're not, ... I'm not. We're all not (speaking with theatrical drama jokingly)! "I'm not ..." ... okay, keep it coming (laughing). I'm trying to get what this is about.

G:  ... Dragging it a little more out.

Spirit: I'm not what you think.

Siddhananda: Okay, there it is!

G: Okay, you're not what we think. Well, what did we think? I don't think we had any preconceived notions ... but ... (laughing).

Siddhananda: I don't know. What did you think? I didn't think anything. I just thought it was a cute, little rock (smiling innocently).

G: No, we're just open to hear what it is. Whatever it is, it's not what we think, okay.

Siddhananda: Okay, so now we know it's not what we think ... just so you know (joking as closes her eyes again).

G: Okay (chuckling).

Spirit: Anything you think I am, I'm not that.

G: Okay, so, what are you?

Siddhananda: (a little burst of laughter) So, what does that leave, right?

Spirit: It leaves the present ... the gift of now.

G: I am That.

Siddhananda: Yeah, that's what they're trying to say.

G: I'm not an object. I'm not a ...

Siddhananda: ... a thing to be seen.

G: Right. You can't put me in a box. You can't confine me.

Siddhananda: That's exactly it.

G: We get that.

Siddhananda: So, that's what they're trying to say by saying, "I am not,” because they feel like they can only say, "I am not."

G: Right. You can't say what it is. There is no word in duality that can explain what it is, because that objectifies everything, and it is beyond being an object.

Spirit: You are saying it so well. That's the reality of it.

Siddhananda: That's what they wanted to say to you, G. Let's see if they have anything else to say.

G: That's why it's in its raw primal state. It's very nice to have picked that stone. That's very interesting. It has not been polished. It's in its natural way of being.

Siddhananda: Nothing added, or taken away.

G: Exactly. It is just what it is.

Spirit: Thank you.

Siddhananda: (placing her hand on her heart) That's really what they wanted to say by saying, I am not.

G: Thank for coming (gesturing with namaste hands and showing the stone again).